Lucky
by Stormy Daye
Summary: Lucky Sinclair thinks she knows everything about her beloved family but when her father starts acting strangely, her entire world is turned upside down. (1st in Sinclair series)
1. Prologue

Prologue  
  
We never talked much about my mother. She died when I was only two months old so I never really felt much of a loss.  
  
My brother, Jesse, never talked about her. He was two years old when she died and he can't remember much either.  
  
So, as long as we didn't ask any questions, my father didn't offer any answers.  
  
My father was enough parent for me. He gave me all the love I needed and never, ever abused me in any way, shape or form. He wasn't home very much before I turned ten but I understood he had to work to keep our tiny apartment and it's contents.  
  
Nothing we had came easy and that made me appreciate what my father did even more.  
  
I sometime wished I had gotten to know my mother but then I realized that my life would be totally different if she was around and I liked it just the way it was.  
  
One thing I still had to learn was that change was inevitable. Nothing would remain the same forever no matter how much you wished it would.  
  
Change cane be a good thing though, right? Except in my case, it usually wasn't 


	2. Chapter One: Routine

Chapter One - Routine  
  
"Lucky, get up! You're going to be late!" someone yelled. It could have been Dad or Jesse. It had actually gotten so I couldn't tell their voices apart.  
  
I smiled, which is not something I do frequently in the morning, thinking about how alike they were. I imagined Dad sticking his head in the door and ordering me to get out of bed. He usually had to do that before I'd get up. I could see his dark hair and eyes. He would try to be angry at me for not getting up but I could see his eyes twinkling. This was the routine. We did it every day during the week without fail.  
  
Just then, Dad poked his head in the door, as I knew he would.  
  
"Lucky, up, now," he said. I saw the twinkle just before he shut the door again.  
  
I could hear Jesse banging around in the kitchen, trying to make some kind of breakfast. Jesse was two years older than me but he couldn't cook to save his life. He usually stuck to staple like grilled cheese or soup.  
  
I was the chef around here. But in the morning he had to pull something together himself because I was never up to do it for him.  
  
If it was a special occasion like his or Dad's birthday I would manage to drag myself out of bed to whip up something special. I had always enjoyed cooking; it was one of the only things that could get me out of bed without four wakeup calls.  
  
I threw back my covers and sat up. My room was small but cozy. My bed was a single that I'd had since I stopped sleeping in a crib. The comforter and the sheets as well as the curtains were all a faded mauve colour.  
  
The walls were painted deep purple which made my already dark room even darker. The window looked out on the courtyard that the four apartment buildings shared and the sun rose on the opposite side of the building. My room was almost pitch black in the morning, which didn't help with my little getting-out-of-bed problem.  
  
The desk, dresser and bedside table I had were painted white and they were even older than the bed. Everything was jammed tightly into the room so there was almost no floor space.  
  
I picked out a pair of jeans and a blue T-shirt to wear to school.  
  
October in St. Thomas, Ontario, Canada was usually pretty cold today but it looked like it might be warm today so I wore the T-shirt anyway. I didn't have many clothes, so I had to wear what I could.  
  
I brushed out my wavy shoulder length blond hair and put a little mascara on to frame my green eyes. I was ready in less than twenty minutes. That was all the time I needed. I looked at the clock. 7:45. And I still had fifteen minutes to spare.  
  
I opened my bedroom door and saw my Dad and brother sitting at the kitchen table, eating what looked like toast.  
  
"You didn't burn it," I said as I sat down at the table. There was a piece of toast on my plate, perfectly toasted.  
  
"Of course not, I know how to make some things, you know," Jesse said, frowning.  
  
I spread peanut butter on my toast and started eating.  
  
Jesse drove me to school everyday on his way to work. He had gotten a job as a groundskeeper at a nursing home so he could save money to go to college in a year. He wanted to be a graphic designer. His dream was to make a movie like "Spider-Man" with special effects that could win an Academy Award.  
  
"I'm going on a business trip this weekend," Dad said. He worked as a traveling salesman. He was good at his job but his boss just couldn't afford to give him a desk job. He had to travel a lot, which left Jesse and I alone most nights. He usually stayed home on weekends but every so often he would have a conference or something.  
  
"Again?" Jesse asked.  
  
"I know, it has been busy lately, but this is the last conference for awhile and Pete is paying me triple to go and then teach the others what I learn," Dad explained.  
  
What new things could there be to learn in selling things door-to-door? I wondered and I asked just that.  
  
"We have to learn what all the products we sell do and Pete is stocking up on all the new electronic gadgets," Dad told me.  
  
I sighed. It made sense, I guess.  
  
"We better get going," Jesse said putting his plate in the sink.  
  
"Have a good day," Dad said.  
  
"Will you be home tonight?" I asked him as I slipped on my jacket.  
  
"Tonight, yes, I'm going to be leaving for the conference early tomorrow morning so I got today off," he said.  
  
I smiled. At least he was trying to spend more time with us. I said goodbye and followed Jesse to the elevator.  
  
Jesse's car was old and rusted but it got us where we needed to go.  
  
We drove to my high school in less than ten minutes.  
  
"See ya at three," I said and got out of the car.  
  
I hurried up the steps of the school and weaved through the groups of people crowded around their lockers. My locker was at the end of the hallway so I didn't have to push my way through crowds of people to get to it.  
  
"Hey Lucky," I turned to the left to find my friend, Lana Turner.  
  
"Hey Lana, did you finish the math?" I asked.  
  
"No, I had better things to do," she said and smiled mischievously.  
  
"Such as?" I closed my locker and we started towards math class.  
  
"Remember that guy from the mall?" she asked.  
  
"The one with the tongue ring?" I asked.  
  
"We.hung out last night," she said and smirked.  
  
I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I wondered why Lana and I were friends at all. She and I were total opposites. She was very outgoing and flirtatious. She had black hair with red streaks and very pale blue eyes. She almost reminded me of a vampire because her skin was so pale. Her hair was naturally blond but she had started dying it black a long time ago. She had a couple of tattoos and three piercings. She wore spiked necklaces and fish net stockings.  
  
But we had been friends for so long, none of those things could even make me consider ending our friendship.  
  
Math class went by pretty fast. I had always done okay in math, but I didn't enjoy it.  
  
"I'll see you at lunch and I'll tell you about Carter," Lana said after the bell had rung.  
  
"Who?" I asked.  
  
"Carter! The tongue ring guy!" she said her makeup-darkened eyes widening.  
  
"Oh, right," I said smiling.  
  
The rest of the morning passed by quickly. I met Lana in our usual place, by my locker. I really wasn't that interested in hearing about her latest boyfriend but I would try to listen as best I could.  
  
We sat in the cafeteria and I half listened to Lana blab on about Carter. He sounded just like all the other guys she'd ever dated. Loud, arrogant and only interested in one thing. Something that Lana would most likely give them around the second or third date.  
  
I tried not to judge my friend but sometimes she could be so reckless.  
  
"He's so cool Lucky!" Lana squealed happily.  
  
"Sounds like it," I said.  
  
"Oh yeah, his friends having a kegger this weekend, you have to come with me," she said.  
  
"A kegger? I don't know." I hesitated. I had been to a few parties like that and they had always ended with the police showing up.  
  
"C'mon, I don't want to go by myself," she pleaded.  
  
I didn't answer for a moment. She would go with or without me and she didn't know anyone there. Anything could happen if she didn't have someone there to look out for her. Just because there would be a keg, didn't mean I had to drink right?  
  
"Alright," I relented.  
  
"Yeah!" She squealed, "It's gonna be great!"  
  
I nodded and grabbed my bag.  
  
The afternoon seemed to drag by just because I wanted it to end.  
  
Normally I'd be worrying about Dad letting me go to this party. But he wouldn't be home. He didn't even have to know about it. Jesse wouldn't tell him.  
  
The party was in two days. Saturday night.  
  
Jesse picked me up at the end of the day.  
  
"I'm going to a party on Saturday," I told him.  
  
"Okay," he said.  
  
I looked at him. He would usually ask me when, where, how, why and who. He could be more protective than Dad sometimes.  
  
I shrugged; I wasn't going to question it. If he didn't care, it would make it easier. I looked over at him. He seemed to be in a daze. He even had a small smile on his full lips.  
  
"What is wrong with you?" I asked. I just couldn't let it go.  
  
"What? Nothing," he insisted glancing at me.  
  
I smiled, he couldn't trick me.  
  
"You talked to Kristen didn't you?" I asked. Kristen Lowry worked at the same nursing home as Jesse. He was always telling me about her. He was too shy to talk to her even though I encouraged him all the time.  
  
He nodded, "We're going out on Saturday," he said.  
  
"That's great! I told you it would work out!" I exclaimed.  
  
Jesse had always been shy around girls. But he really had no reason to be. He was a perfect gentleman. Sensitive, caring, generous. Any girl would be lucky to have him. He was also good looking according to Lana. He had the same dark hair and eyes as Dad. His cheekbones were defined just enough. He had dark eyelashes that I was jealous of. His lips were full and he had perfect teeth. His chin and jaw were strong and slightly square. His nose was long and straight, what could be called a Roman nose.  
  
Lana even went as far to say he looked like a Greek God and she only liked guys who had piercings all over their face.  
  
"Don't tell Dad though, I don't feel like telling him every detail about Kristen," Jesse said.  
  
"Okay, same with the party," I said.  
  
"Oh yeah, where is this party?" he asked.  
  
I sighed, I guess I spoke too soon. 


	3. Chapter Two: The Party

Chapter Two - The Party  
  
Dad was home, as promised, that night. I cooked diner for us and we all watched T.V together after.  
  
Jesses didn't say anything about Kristen or the party and neither did I.  
  
Dad was gone when I woke up for school the next day. He left forty dollars on the counter for emergencies as always.  
  
The day was like any other day at school. Lana talked about Carter and the party the whole time, naturally.  
  
"What to go to the mall after school?" Lana asked, "I want to get a new outfit,"  
  
"Sure, I guess," I said. I actually needed a new skirt. I had been saving my birthday and Christmas money for the last few years because I realized that my Dad couldn't always buy me everything I needed. I had around five hundred dollars in the bank. Dad's parents sent us money for birthdays and Christmas. I had only met them once when I was five years old. They never visited or called but they still managed to send presents on special occasions.  
  
Jesse picked me up at the end of the day. Lana was behind me.  
  
"Can you take us to the mall?" I asked him.  
  
He just nodded.  
  
"Hey Jesse," Lana said after getting in the back.  
  
"What's up Lana?" he asked, not looking back. He was used to her flirting with him. She had been doing it since she was ten years old.  
  
"Oh, not much, what to go with us to a party tomorrow?" she asked. I turned around to glare at her. She didn't know when to quit. She was going to see Carter but she wanted to bring Jesse as a date.  
  
Jesse laughed, "Thanks but I'm busy," he said.  
  
"You better not be cheating on me," Lana teased. She liked to pretend she was dating my brother.  
  
"Actually," Jesse said in a serious tone, "I think we should break up,"  
  
"What? Why? I thought you loved me!" Lana wailed.  
  
"I met someone else," Jesse said.  
  
"Stop it you guys," I said grinning.  
  
"Who is this person? I'll kill her!" Lana exclaimed and laughed. Jesse laughed too. I rolled my eyes and smiled. They always did stuff like this.  
  
"You tow are psychotic," I muttered.  
  
We made it to the mall in London, the city about twenty minutes away. There were no decent stores in St. Thomas, let alone a mall. Jesse never seemed to mind driving me anywhere, he never complained. He was the perfect older brother.  
  
"Can you pick us up at six?" I asked.  
  
"Do I have a choice?" he countered.  
  
"Not unless you want us to sleep here tonight," I said.  
  
"Alright," he agreed.  
  
Lana and I roamed the mall looking for some sort of outfit for the party. Lana found a pair of bright red floods and black boots. Her parents were rich, both successful lawyers and they put a hundred dollars a week in a bank account for her for spending money. That was their way of making up for not spending much time with her.  
  
I found a knee length jean skirt to wear and Lana said she would lend me a top.  
  
Jesse picked us up and drove Lana home. I promised to be at her house at four o'clock the next day. At home Jesse and I sat in front of the T.V all night.  
  
"Do you ever think about Mom?" I asked all of a sudden.  
  
"Not really, it only makes me sad," he answered without taking his eyes off Jay Leno. I went to bed after that.  
  
I couldn't help but think about Mom all the time. I wanted to know what it was like to have a mother for once. To have a woman who had experienced things to talk to. There were something's that a girl just couldn't talk to her father about no matter how close they were.  
  
I went to bed wishing I could just have a few minutes with my mother. I didn't know then that you should be careful what you wish for.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"You're going to love Carter," Lana gushed as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail. We were going to leave for the party in a few minutes and I wasn't even dressed. I had spent the afternoon watching a movie. She, on the other hand, had been getting ready for the past two hours.  
  
"I'm sure I will," I said.  
  
"Here, wear this," she tossed me a black tank top with long sleeves made out of red mesh. Normally I would toss in back to her but tonight I was feeling daring. Despite my earlier hesitation about going to this party I was actually kind of excited about it.  
  
Lana did my hair for me, which was not something I let her do often. She created a crazy up-do with strands sticking out all over the place. I even let her put temporary red streaks in it. After she assured me a million times that it was in fact temporary.  
  
"You look amazing," she gushed when she was done, "You should really let me do your hair more often,"  
  
I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the girl staring back at me. But strangely enough, I liked it. Tonight I was no longer Lucky Sinclair, the conservative, responsible one, I was Lucky Sinclair the crazy, exciting one.  
  
"Lets go!" Lana said.  
  
We walked to the party in a about a half an hour. It was on the other side of town. There was already music pulsing and people dancing when we arrived. The house was a bungalow that looked like it could use a paint job.  
  
We went inside and I recognized a couple people from school.  
  
"Hey Llllllaaannna," Nathan Beck slurred .He was in my art class but I had never spoke to him because he always seemed stoned in class. Now he just seemed drunk.  
  
He thrust a beer into Lana's hand and she thanked him. She was too busy looking for Carter to speak to Nathan and longer.  
  
"There he is," Lana said nudging me. I recognized the guy we had met at the mall.  
  
I had to admit he wasn't bad looking with his shaggy light brown hair and striking blue eyes. His lips looked like he was always on the verge of smiling. His nose was a little large but it fit his face perfectly. His chin had a cleft that a thought created individuality. I liked how he didn't have any obvious piercings. He was the kind of person who had a wild side but was good at keeping it under control.  
  
He waved lightly and Lana dragged me over to greet him. His perpetual grin widened when he looked at me.  
  
"Lana," he said and kissed her for a moment, keeping his eyes on me the whole time, which I thought was kind of creepy.  
  
"You remember Lucky right?" Lana said to him.  
  
"How could I forget a name like that?" he asked grinning.  
  
"Nice to see you too," I said smirking. Carter was coming off as incredibly arrogant as he looked me up and down. He had just kissed Lana as thought they had been together for years and now he was staring at me without shame. I suddenly felt uncomfortable wearing Lana's shirt. I didn't feel like myself in that outfit. The combination of Carter's stare and my own insecurities just made me panic. I had to get out of the crowded living room.  
  
"I'm going to get some air," I mumbled and pushed my way back through the crowd to the front door.  
  
"What a drag?" Nathan asked shoving a cigarette in my face .I just kept hurrying away, desperate for the feeling of cool air on my face.  
  
I sighed in relief as I grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open. I stepped outside and took a deep breath.  
  
I looked around the yard. It was small and the grass looked almost dead. There were a few shrubs on the walkway leading up tot eh house but they seemed out of place in the yard.  
  
The music was pounding behind me. I stepped off the porch and on a whim I started tto walk around to the backyard.  
  
It almost looked like the backyard of an old abandoned house. The grass was brown, there was a old looking barbecue near the low wooden fence and to top it all off there was an old rusted swing set that squeaked whenever there was a even the slightest breeze.  
  
The backyard was such a change from the crowded house and somehow I was more comfortable being back here alone than I was in the house.  
  
I went over to the swing set and sat down on one of the swings. It creaked and groaned so much I thought it would collapse but it held up.  
  
I just sat there for a moment listening to the boom of the music from inside.  
  
I don't know what I was thinking coming to this party. It wasn't my responsibility to look after Lana. It wasn't like she would listen to me anyway.  
  
It was time for me to leave. Lana could take care of herself.  
  
"Hey, where you going?" a voice asked when I got closer tot eh house.  
  
I turned towards the voice to find Carter. He was smiling confidently.  
  
"Home," I said.  
  
"C'mon you just got here," he said.  
  
"Shouldn't you be inside with Lana?" I asked still walking around the house. He followed behind me like a little puppy dog on a leash.  
  
"She already found someone else more to her liking," he said sounding, surprisingly enough, sheepish.  
  
I stopped to look back at him. Just one hour before Lana was going on and on about him like he was some kind of immortal God. Now she had found someone else? I would never understand her.  
  
"And besides, I like you better," he added.  
  
I smiled, despite myself.  
  
"We don't have to go back in there, we could just sit and talk," Carter said.  
  
I was surprised. I thought he was the type of guy who would never pass up a good party. I guess first impressions aren't always right.  
  
I didn't want to say yes, but I couldn't stop myself. We went back to the swing set and sat down.  
  
"Why are you friends with Lana anyway, you seem so.different," Carter said.  
  
"We've been friends so long, I don't know, I think we'll always be friends," I said.  
  
"I know what you mean," he said.  
  
"You do?" I asked surprised.  
  
"My friends," he said gesturing towards the house, "Are drug addicted losers, but they'll always be my friends,"  
  
I laughed.  
  
The night passed by quickly. We talked about everything we could think of. Family, school, friends, music. I found out that Carter had an older brother who was killed in a car accident four years earlier. His parents were still together but it his opinion, shouldn't be.  
  
"All they do is fight," he said.  
  
"That must be hard," I said.  
  
"I try not to stay home too much," he told me. He was my bother's age and I asked him if he knew Jesse.  
  
"I know of him," was all he said. I was surprised I had never seen Carter before; we had gone to the same school for two years and St. Thomas wasn't really a very big city.  
  
He told me his friends were always having parties like this and he just went to them for something to do. He said his tongue ring was really just a cry for attention. His parents still hadn't noticed.  
  
I told him about my Dad and brother and most of all how I missed having a mother.  
  
The only thing I noticed about the party was the occasional drunk coming out to throw up. The music had died down a few hours later and I looked at my watch. It was two A.M!  
  
"Oh no, I have to get home," I exclaimed jumping up.  
  
"Already?" Carter asked.  
  
"It's two A.M!" I told him.  
  
Carter's eyes widened in surprise. The time had gone by so quickly.  
  
"I have to find Lana," I said, hurrying towards the house.  
  
Inside, there were a few couples making out in the living room. In the kitchen there was a guy with a bright orange afro passed out on the floor. He had a beer bottle clutched in his hand. I almost laughed at him.  
  
"Oh no, not again," Carter moaned, coming up behind me, "Tony wake up," he said. He slapped the guy on the face and he stirred a little but didn't open his eyes.  
  
"You know him?" I asked.  
  
"This is his house," he answered.  
  
I left Carter with Tony and continued searching for Lana. I went upstairs and opened random doors. I found a couple in a.. compromising position and I slammed that door shut quickly. Finally I was at the last doorway. If she wasn't in here then I didn't know where she could be.  
  
I pushed open the door and let out a sigh of relief. There was Lana, sleeping in the single bed. She was covered with a pink Barbie sheet.  
  
I went closer and realized in shock that she was completely naked. There were beer bottles all over the floor and the room smelled like marijuana.  
  
"Lana," I said shaking her, "LANA!" I yelled. She opened her eyes slowly and looked up at me.  
  
"Lucky," she smiled.  
  
"Get up and put some clothes on," I ordered. I threw her pants and top at her and turned around so she could get dressed.  
  
"What happened to you?" I asked when she was finished.  
  
"I had fun, did you?" she said, giggling. She leaned against me and I dragged her down the stairs.  
  
"Carter?" I called. He wasn't in the kitchen and neither was Tony. I didn't see him in the living room either.  
  
I took out Lana's cell phone, which miraculously hadn't been stolen.  
  
"Hello?" Jesse picked up on the first ring.  
  
"It's me, can you come and get us?" I asked.  
  
"What's going on?" he asked.  
  
"I'll tell you later, just please come and get us," I told him the address and Lana and I sat on the lawn. She fell asleep on my shoulder and drooled on her own shirt,  
  
Jesse drove up a couple minutes later, he helped me get Lana in the back. He didn't say anything on the way home and I was grateful for that. I could still hear Carter's voice in my head. I smiled to myself.  
  
No matter how terrible the actual party was, I was still glad I went. All I could think of before I feel asleep was when I would see Carter again. 


	4. Chapter Three: A Perfect Disaster

Chapter Three - A Perfect Disaster  
  
The next day I slept late. When I woke up I heard to T.V on in the living room. It was one o'clock in the afternoon. Dad would be home in a few hours.  
  
"Good afternoon," I said to Lana. I was surprised to see she was still here.  
  
"Hey," she said, smiling slightly.  
  
"Have a headache?" I asked, sitting down beside her.  
  
"Yeah, I got some aspirin," she said.  
  
"Hey, where's Jesse?" I asked.  
  
"He went to meet someone named Kristen," she answered.  
  
I had forgotten all about Jesse's big date. It must have gone well it he was seeing her again so soon.  
  
"What happened to you last night?" I asked.  
  
Lana glanced at me quickly. She didn't answer for a moment and then she spoke, "I hung out with Nathan," she mumbled.  
  
"Nathan Beck?" I asked incredulously.  
  
She just nodded.  
  
Carter told me she had found someone else more to her liking. Nathan Beck was more to her liking? She had officially lost her mind.  
  
"What were you doing with him?" I asked, turning to face her.  
  
"We drank, smoked a little weed, I don't know," she said.  
  
"You are crazy," I said shaking my head, "Do you know where I found you?"  
  
She stared at me, she didn't remember.  
  
"You were naked in a little kids room," I told her.  
  
Her eyes widened and she groaned, "Ohhh, what have I done?"  
  
"Nothing good," I said.  
  
"I better just go home," she said standing up. She was still wearing her outfit form the night before.  
  
"Call me later," I told her as she left.  
  
I wasn't too surprised about Lana's party adventure. She got herself into the worst situations and she really had no one to blame but herself.  
  
Jesse came home a little while later.  
  
"Sooo," I said nudging him, "How was it?"  
  
"Kristen is amazing," he said falling ontot he couch.  
  
I smiled. Seeing him happy made me happy.  
  
Dad was home for dinner. I made his favourite dinner to welcome him. Spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread.  
  
"How was your trip?" I asked him.  
  
He hesitated for a minute and then answered, "Fine. Great."  
  
"Great? Really, I didn't think you liked those conferences," I said.  
  
"Oh, it wasn't so bad," he said, his eyes on his plate.  
  
I frowned. He was acting strangely. He wasn't his usual talkative self.  
  
"Did you guys have a good time this weekend?" he asked.  
  
I glanced at Jesse. I hadn't discussed it with him but I hoped he wouldn't tell Dad about the party.  
  
"Yeah, it was nice and quiet," Jesse said.  
  
I didn't like keeping things from my father but nothing had happened to be at the party. It was no big deal. I didn't want Dad to think he couldn't trust me when he was away.  
  
"Good," he said, "Great dinner Lucky,"  
  
"Thanks," I said, grateful for the change in topic.  
  
Dad seemed to work a lot less in the next couple months. He stayed home a lot and didn't have a single weekend conference. We hung out together more often. We went to the movies, out to dinner and just spent more quality time together.  
  
Christmas came and went with the usual present from my grandparents. I got a watch from Jesse and CD's and clothes from my Dad.  
  
The best part of Christmas holidays was hanging out with Carter. We had spoken on the phone a fair bit before but with time off school we had more time to spend together.  
  
He was taking a couple high school classes still so he could get his marks high enough to get into college. He also had to work part time to save money. He wasn't any wealthier than my family. Carter came to be one of my best friends. We talked about everything. Whenever his parents were fighting and he needed to get out of the house, he called me. I almost wondered if he was neglecting his other friends. I asked him about Tony once in awhile and he would just say he was fine and change the subject.  
  
Lana and I didn't drift apart after the party. We stayed as close as ever. She hardly even noticed how close Carter and I had become though. She was too busy being Nathan Beck's girlfriend.  
  
I thought she was crazy to go out with him. He was a druggie. Not exactly a good influence. I worried about Lana all the time even though I knew I shouldn't try to be her mother.  
  
She had changed a little though. She stopped getting into bed with guys on the second date. After Tony's party she couldn't remember if she had sex with anyone or not. Then she didn't get her period for a month. She did end up getting it but it scared her into changing her behaviour.  
  
Jesse finally told Dad about Kristen and we had her over for dinner. I thought she was very beautiful with her dark brown hair and blue eyes and also very friendly. Perfect for Jesse. Dad really seemed to like her too.  
  
On New Year's Eve, Carter asked me to go to his house. He said he didn't want to go to a party; he just wanted a quiet night. I accepted of course. It would be my first time at his house. I wondered if I would meet his parents.  
  
I got my answer when Jesse dropped me off at Carter's house on his way to pick up Kristen. Carter's house was near Tony's' across town from my apartment. It was the same style bungalow. The front yard was a little nicer looking.  
  
There was a white pick up truck in the driveway. There was a light on in the living room and as I walked towards the front door I saw a woman in a black evening gown walk past it. I was about to knock on the door when it was yanked open by a man in his late forties. I could see Carter in him. He had the same cleft chin and light brown hair. He didn't see me standing there and he yelled, "Melissa if you don't get your ass down here right now, I'm leaving without you!"  
  
He whipped his head around and jerked in surprise when he saw me.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked abruptly.  
  
"I'm Lucky, a friend of Carter's," I said, trying not to look as embarrassed as I felt.  
  
"Carter? Oh, hello, I'm his father, Jeffrey," he said and held out his hand for me to shake.  
  
"I'm ready," a woman's voice said. Mrs. Malone peered out form behind her husband. I noticed right away that she had Carter's striking blue eyes. Her hair was blond and wavy. She had a lot of makeup on, probably to make herself look younger. Lana's mother had tones of anti-aging creams and powders.  
  
"Melissa, this is Lucky, a friend of Carter's," Jeffrey said smiling just a little.  
  
"Oh, how nice," she said, "Carter is in the basement," she smiled but I got the feeling she just wanted to leave.  
  
"Thank you, it was nice to meet both of you," I said. I entered the house after they left.  
  
"Took you long enough" Jeffrey said walking towards the white pick up truck.  
  
"I don't need this right now, so just save it," Melissa snapped. I closed the front door. Carter was right about their fighting.  
  
"Hello?" I called. I didn't know where the basement was. The house was all dark except for a lamp in the living room. I found a light switch and flicked on a hall light.  
  
"Lucky!" Carter said. He had just come around the corner.  
  
"Hey," I said. I followed Carter to the basement. It consisted of one small room with one couch. The couch was beige but it had a few stains on it. There was a small T.V and an even smaller stereo.  
  
"So, this is my place," he said.  
  
"It's nice," I said. It really wasn't that nice but I didn't care. I wasn't superficial.  
  
We spent the night talking and watching the New Years' specials on television.  
  
I wondered once what Lana was doing. We had spent all our New Year's Eves together for as long as I could remember. She had told me she had a date with Nathan but she didn't know where they were going. I hoped for her sake Nathan would lay off the weed for one night and take her somewhere nice.  
  
Finally it was time for the countdown. I watched the ball drop on TV and then I turned towards Carter to find he was already staring at me.  
  
"You are really beautiful," he murmured. He leaned closer and kissed me softly on the lips. Up until now Carter and I had just been friends. I had been fine with that but this wasn't so bad either.  
  
"Lucky," Carter said ending the kiss.  
  
"Yes?" I asked smiling.  
  
"I.I think I'm falling in love with you," he said. He looked up at me; he had a vulnerable look in his eyes.  
  
My smile faded. He was in love with me? We had only just kissed for the first time. This was going way too fast for me.  
  
"Carter. I don't know what to say," I stumbled over my words.  
  
"I feel so close to you, I just want to be with you," he didn't seem to notice my surprise and hesitation at his revelation.  
  
He kissed me again, harder this time. He was leaning against me hard, pushing me back onto the couch. I pulled away from the kiss, pushing my hands against his chest.  
  
"Carter, don't, I'm not ready for this," I squirmed out form under him and stood up.  
  
"What's wrong, don't you feel the way I do?" he asked.  
  
"I really like you, but I'm.I'm not in love with you," I stuttered carefully.  
  
He looked down and when he looked at me again, his eyes were hardened and cold, "I think you should leave," he said.  
  
"What?" I said in shock.  
  
"Please, I'll call you later," he said although I got the feeling he wouldn't do that. I didn't say anything. I just turned around and stormed up the stairs.  
  
I really thought Carter was different. Turns out he wanted what every other guys wanted.  
  
In less than ten minutes, perfection had turned into disaster. 


	5. Chapter Four: The Whole Truth

Chapter Four - The Whole Truth  
  
I walked home form Carter's house. All the houses I passed looked bright and cheerful with music coming out and people wishing their friends a happy new year.  
  
I shivered when I thought about the way Carter had looked at me when he asked me to leave. I didn't understand it; it was like an alien had taken over his body. We had been friends for three months and he had never let on he wanted more and then tonight he blurts out he's in love with me? Was it just me or was that crazy?  
  
It took me an hour to get home in the snow. I was freezing when I finally crawled into bed at one A.M. Jesse wasn't home yet and Dad was already in bed.  
  
I could only hope that the whole thing with Carter was a dream and everything would be back to normal in the morning.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
School started again a couple of days later. I went to class and went through the motions as before but without Carter I felt lonely. Lana had Nathan and Jesse had Kristen but who did I have?  
  
I tried calling Carter a few times but he was never home and if he got my messages he chose to ignore them. Eventually I gave up. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong.  
  
Dad started wanting me to spend more and more time with him. I assumed it was because he was lonely. He hadn't dated since Mom dies and that was sixteen years ago.  
  
One night near the end of January the phone rang. Dad answered it and I saw his smile fade.  
  
"I know," he said, "I'm going to. in one week. send the car. she'll be ready," He hung up the phone and turned to me. He didn't look happy.  
  
"Lucky, there's something I need to tell you," he said sitting down on the couch. He turned off the T.V.  
  
"Jesse, I want you to hear this too," he gestured for Jesse to come over to us.  
  
"What's wrong Dad?" I asked, worried. What could possibly put that defeated look on his face. He had always been a cheerful upbeat person. It took a lot to put him in a bad mood.  
  
"Lucky, I have lied to you," he started.  
  
I stared at him in anticipation, "About what?" I asked.  
  
"About your mother," he said.  
  
My eyes widened. He never talked about my mother. What was bringing this on? Who had called earlier? My head was full of questions that I didn't know how to ask.  
  
"I'm going to tell you a story so just hear me out before you say anything," he said.  
  
I nodded, gulping.  
  
"My wife, Jennifer, had Jesse when we had only been married for one short year. We loved him so much. Our mutual love for made us even closer than before. But when Jesse was one, Jennifer was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was only twenty-five when she died. I was left to raise a son on my own," he said sadly.  
  
Wait, wasn't something missing here? I thought, what about me?  
  
"We were on our own for a whole year before Lucky came along. Jesse and I were shopping for new clothes in Wal-mart when I heard a baby crying. Well technically, Jesse heard the crying. We found a little girl abandoned in the bathrooms," he stopped and looked at me. I didn't understand where this was going.  
  
"Despite my being a single parents already I decided to adopt her. The police found her mother who was only fifteen years old. She signed the infant over to me on the condition that she'd be able to visit if she wanted. She hasn't yet," he said.  
  
My heart was pounding against my chest. What was my father trying to say? Was I the little girl he found in the bathroom?  
  
"Lucky, you are the baby I found," Dad finally said.  
  
My heart skipped a beat.  
  
"What?" Jesse whispered. The look on his face communicated exactly how I felt. Totally and utterly in shock.  
  
"This is a joke right?" I asked hopefully. He had to be my father. If I was the baby he found then my whole life had been a lie. My mother didn't even want me. She didn't leave me in death. She left me because she was too young and selfish to take care of me.  
  
"This is not a joke, I wish it was," Dad said, looking defeated.  
  
"My mother isn't dead?" I asked.  
  
"No, she is very much a live," he said, "and you are going to live with her for awhile,"  
  
This was all too much at once, "What are you talking about?" I stammered.  
  
"That weekend conference I had in October, I was actually going to visit your mother to work out some details," he said.  
  
"For how long?" Jesse asked.  
  
"For as long as Maria wants," Dad answered. He seemed drained and disappointed.  
  
"Wait, don't I get a say in this?" I asked, "What if I don't want to be shipped off to a mother who abandoned me?"  
  
"She didn't abandon you-" Dad began.  
  
"What would you call leaving me all alone in a Walmart bathroom then?" I almost yelled.  
  
Dad didn't answer.  
  
This couldn't be happening. I stormed out of the living room and slammed my bedroom door. My mother had abandoned me sixteen years ago and now all of a sudden had the right to take me back. I thought I wanted to know my mother but now that I did I wished I could forget about her. What kind of person would do this? Did she actually think I would just drop my life and come to live with her as her loving daughter as if nothing was wrong. If she did, she was sadly mistaken. I wasn't going to take this lying down, she was in for a fight.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
I didn't remember lying down but I must have because I woke up at two A.M.  
  
Everything that that had happened came rushing back in waves. Scott Sinclair, the man I had called my father all my life had found me abandoned in a public washroom. Jesse wasn't my brother. Jennifer, the mother I had wanted to know so badly wasn't even related to me.  
  
I knew Dad would force me to go love with my real mother, Maria.  
  
I thought for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. I had gained a mother but lost a father and a brother.  
  
Everything had changed. How I wished I could go back in time to the days when the three of us were happy and I didn't even think about my mother.  
  
I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning. I couldn't stop thinking about the changes that would occur. I still had so many questions. Why did Maria abandon me? Why did she want me to live with her now of all times? Who was my real father? I couldn't imagine calling anyone else Dad than the man I had lived with my whole life.  
  
It occurred to me that Dad was probably talking to my mother on the phone right before he told me the horrible truth. I wondered if he would have told me if he hadn't been forced to.  
  
The next day I found it even harder than usual to get out of bed.  
  
When I managed to get myself dressed I found Dad in the kitchen making bacon and eggs.  
  
"Good morning honey," he said trying to look cheerful, "eggs?"  
  
"I'm not really hungry Dad," I told him.  
  
His face fell in disappointment.  
  
Jesse came out of his room looking just as exhausted as I felt. He took a few pieces of bacon and toast for Dad's sake and left the apartment. I started to follow him but Dad stopped me.  
  
"We can talk about this more tonight okay?" he said. I shrugged and closed the door on my way out.  
  
In the car on the way to school Jesse didn't say much and I didn't either. It was hard to think we weren't brother and sister; we had always been so close.  
  
"Lucky," he said before I got out of the car, "we only have a week until you have to leave, lets not waste it," he handed me a piece of toast and I knew that it was his way of telling me not to blame Dad.  
  
I smiled, "Okay," I said.  
  
At lunch, Lana and I went into the drama hall to be alone. I managed to detach her form Nathan's arm for one period to tell her what happened.  
  
"You're leaving next Friday?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," I said. My eyes started to fill up with tears. I was going to miss her so much.  
  
"What will I do without you?" she sobbed. Tears were already running down her face.  
  
"Don't go to anymore keggers!" I told her. She laughed through her tears, "I won't" she said. She threw her arms around me in the tightest hug possible. There was so much I'd be leaving behind, and I didn't even know where I was going yet.  
  
"Lucky, there's one more thing you have to do before you go," she said, "talk to Carter,"  
  
"I don't know," I said. Lana had never been jealous of our friendship. She had been infatuated with Carter for a few days but she had moved on to Nathan before that fateful party was even over. She wasn't the jealous type anyway.  
  
"He wants to be with you, I know, I've talked to him," she said.  
  
"You have?" I asked in surprise.  
  
"Of course," she said.  
  
I guess it wouldn't hurt to just speak to him. He had become such a good friend. I couldn't throw all that away and not say goodbye.  
  
But, as I had learned, things aren't always meant to be. 


	6. Chapter Five: Goodbyes

Chapter Five - Goodbye's  
  
I got Jesse to drive me to Carter's after school that day.  
  
"Do you need a ride home?" he asked.  
  
"That's okay. You don't have to, "I told him.  
  
"I want to, we won't see each other for awhile, I want to spend time with you while I still can," he insisted.  
  
I smiled. The tears were gathering under my lids again. I agreed to let him pick me up in a couple hours.  
  
I knocked on the front door and Carter's father answered it. He smiled.  
  
"Lucky right?" he said moving aside so I could go in.  
  
"That's right," I said.  
  
"Carters in the dungeon," he said, trying to make a joke. I smiled tightly. I was too nervous to laugh. I found the doorway to the basement and took a deep breath. The last time I had been here was New Year's Eve and that hadn't turned out well.  
  
I found Carter on the couch watching T.V. I didn't even have to say anything. It was alike he sensed my presence. He didn't look surprised to see me.  
  
"Long time, no see," he said.  
  
Crying would no doubt be unavoidable today.  
  
"I'm so sorry," I said, my voice, cracking.  
  
"It's not your fault, I was a jerk," he said  
  
"I.I just didn't know you wanted to be more than friends," I told him.  
  
"How could you not know?" he asked standing up.  
  
I shrugged.  
  
"I'm so glad you came over. I wanted to call you but I thought you hated you," he said coming closer.  
  
"I don't hate you," I said.  
  
He was right in front of me now, "Good," he leaned closer to me.  
  
"There's something I have to tell you," I whispered. He kissed me gently and I let him. But there was something wrong. I didn't feel the same warm and fuzzy feeling I'd felt on New Year's Eve. It felt like I was kissing my good friend. I realized then that that was all he was to me. A good friend. And to my surprise, that was all I wanted him to be.  
  
I pulled away and looked at my feet. I hoped he wouldn't be furious with me, "Carter, I have to leave for awhile," I said.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"I'm going to stay with my mother," I told him.  
  
"What? I thought your mother was dead," he said.  
  
I told him quickly what I knew about my mother.  
  
"How far away?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know yet, but I think it is somewhere around Ottawa," I told him.  
  
"Ottawa?" he whispered.  
  
I nodded. Maybe when he heard about me moving six hours away he'd forget about having a relationship. He fell back on the couch looking defeated.  
  
After a moment his face lit up, "I've got at an idea," he said.  
  
I didn't say anything.  
  
"I'll move out there," he said excitedly.  
  
My mouth dropped open.  
  
"I have money saved. I can go to high school and get the credits I need and got to college in Ottawa," he said.  
  
"Carter, I don't--" I started.  
  
"It'll be great. I can get away from my parents, be on m y own, be near you, what a great idea!" he smiled, "Don't you think?"  
  
"No," I said bluntly. With Carter I had to be direct. He wasn't good at taking hints.  
  
"What?" he asked confused.  
  
"Carter, I came here to say goodbye, not to start a relationship. We are friends and to be completely honest that is all I want right now," I told him. If he wouldn't respect my wished, maybe he wasn't worth my time.  
  
"Oh, friends," he said finally.  
  
"That's all," I said again.  
  
He looked so disappointed and he had a look on his face that told me I had broken his heart all over again.  
  
"I'm sorry," I said softly. I turned around to leave, "I'm leaving next Friday if you're interested, "I added.  
  
I didn't know if he'd ever want to speak to me again. But I left that up to him. If he could accept being just friends then he could come and say goodbye.  
  
It was too early for Jesse to pick me up so I walked to the gas station and used the pay phone to call him.  
  
"Is everything alright?" he asked when I got in the car.  
  
"No, not really," I said.  
  
Dad was sitting in the apartment in silence when we got home. I hated seeing him like this. I sat down on the couch beside him and took his hand.  
  
"Dad, I want you to know that I don't blame you for any of this and I love you so much," tears were threatening to spill over again.  
  
"I love you like you are my real daughter," he said turning to me.  
  
"To me, I am," I said crying openly now.  
  
For the rest of the night we talked about all the good times we'd had. Before I went to bed Dad told me about my real mother, Maria Porter. He didn't know the details of why she left me but he told me she lived on the outskirts of Ottawa with her husband and fifteen year old daughter. It shocked me to hear she had another child so close to my age but she'd felt ready to have that child but not ready for me only a year and a half earlier. Dad said she married a man eight years older than her when she was only nineteen.  
  
Despite how I had vowed to fight my mother every step of the way, I started to get more interested in meeting her. I had believed she was dead for so long and finding out now that she wasn't was a huge shock and almost a blessing. I would get what I had wanted more than anything else in the world.  
  
A mother.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
For the rest of the week I said my goodbyes to all my friends and teachers. It was hard to leave the only place I had ever known behind. I had lived in St. Thomas all my life.  
  
Finally, it was Friday. Dad told me a car would be by to pick me up around four. I wondered if my mother would be in the car waiting for me. I had all my things packed up and ready to go, but I was ready to go.  
  
Jesse, Dad, Lana, Nathan and Kristen were all crammed into the tiny apartment to say goodbye. Nathan looked different than I remembered him. His brown hair was combed neatly. He had on clean, wrinkle-free clothes and his blue eyes weren't bloodshot al all. Lana had been a good influence on him and I could tell then had really gotten close.  
  
"I'm going to miss you so much," Lana said, hugging me.  
  
"We'll write, and call, and you'll probably be able to visit," I promised.  
  
The moment the clock struck four the door buzzer rang. It was my ride. Everyone helped me carry my bags down. In front of our modest apartment building was a sleek looking black stretch limo. I gasped in surprise.  
  
"Wow," Nathan said, "Your mom must be loaded,"  
  
There was a man in a chauffeur's uniform standing beside the car. He had a hat on but I could see his light colored hair was graying. His face looked worm but I could see he had a friendly gleam in his greenish eyes. He was tall and very thin.  
  
"Lucky Sinclair I presume?" he asked formally.  
  
"Yes," I said.  
  
"I am Gary, the Porter's driver," he introduced himself.  
  
"Nice to meet you Gary," I said still not able to tear my eyes away from the limo.  
  
"I will put your luggage in the car," he said. I nodded and turned back to my friends and family.  
  
I took a deep breath, "Well, this is it," I said.  
  
"I'll miss you," Jesses said. He gave me a hug and the tears fell down my cheeks. Everyone else hugged me and cried with me.  
  
"Please try to give Maria a chance," Dad said.  
  
"I will," I promised him. This was already hard enough for him; I didn't want to make it any harder by showing how angry I was with my mother.  
  
Gary opened the door to the limo for me and I peered inside. And much to my disappointment, or relief, I don't really know, it was empty.  
  
"Goodbye everyone, I love you," I said through my tears. I climbed into the limo and watched as everyone I loved went back into the building. Dad looked back once and winked at me reassuringly. I waved back. Gary closed the door, beginning my journey.  
  
The inside of the limo was beautiful. It had black leather seats and a T.V, DVD player, stereo and fridge. I think it could have seated ten people but right now it was just me, all alone. There was a tinted window that separated the driving area from the luxury. I could see Gary's outline as he started the car.  
  
Suddenly the window separating us moved away.  
  
"There are drinks and snacks in the fridge, you can watch DVDs, they are in the cupboard under the TV. Listen to music, whatever you would like," Gary told me.  
  
"Wow, thank you," I breathed. This was all just so unbelievable.  
  
"If you need anything at all just push that red button and the window will move so you can talk to me," he said, "Sound good?"  
  
"This is amazing," I said, "Thank you so much."  
  
"No need to thank me, it's my job," he said, "and with someone like you to drive around, I'm sure I will enjoy it so much more."  
  
I smiled in appreciation. With that, we were on our way out of St. Thomas. I looked back once when we stopped at the end of my street. I thought I saw someone standing in the street watching us drive away but we turned before I could be sure.  
  
I was on my way to a new life and I had no idea what it would bring. 


	7. Chapter Six: Phantom Manor

Chapter Six - Phantom Manor  
  
The trip to Ottawa was long. At first it was exciting to be in a limo but after I had watched a movie and eaten a few snacks I started to get anxious. I pressed the button to remove the window between Gary and I.  
  
"Is there something wrong?" he asked.  
  
"Oh no, I was just getting lonely," I assured him.  
  
"Oh. okay," he said.  
  
It seemed like he wasn't used to the people he was driving wanting to talk to him unless of course they wanted something.  
  
"So, how long have you worked for the Porters?" I asked.  
  
"Almost twenty years," he said, "I was with Ms. Maria's parents before she was married and on her own."  
  
So that meant Gary was there when I was born. I was too anxious to know the details. I couldn't wait two more hours to hear them from my mother.  
  
"Then you must know all about my mother," I said.  
  
"I've known her since she was thirteen," he said.  
  
"Then you know what she did to me?" I asked carefully.  
  
He hesitated a moment before answering, "Well, I know some vague facts, nothing really specific," he said.  
  
"What do you know?" I prodded. I didn't want to let this go. I had been kept in the dark for too long.  
  
"Miss Lucky, I don't think I should be the one to talk to you about this, we'll be at the Manor in a little while," Gary told me.  
  
I sighed, "Wait, a Manor?" I asked. How big was this house?  
  
"Yes," Gary said happy for the change in subject, "it is called Phantom Manor."  
  
"Really? Why Phantom?" I asked, genuinely curious.  
  
"Your mother's husband, Randall Porter is a very rich business man. His great grandfather built the house for his wife a long time ago. They decided to call it Phantom because Randall's great grandmother believed it was haunted. She thought it had been built on top of a very old graveyard," he explained, "She used to see ghosts in the halls."  
  
"Wow, creepy," I breathed. Ghost storied always sent a chill through my spine, "Have you ever seen anything?" I asked.  
  
"No, not seen, but the sounds are almost deafening at times," he said.  
  
We stopped talking after that. We had entered Ottawa and the anticipation was becoming unbearable. I watched out the darkly tinted windows as the houses and buildings passed by. After awhile the buildings became more and more sparse until it was just trees. We turned into a private driveway that would have been invisible if you didn't know it was there. Especially in the dark. The limo drove slowly to these dark wrought iron gates. Gary pressed a button and they slowly opened. I scrambled up to the window and stuck my head through to look through the windshield.  
  
There, looming in front of us was the biggest house I had ever seen. It looked to have at least four levels with balconies and terraces on every one. There was a high tower with a couple windows in it. The house was made of red brick. All the windows had fancy shutters on them. There was a four- car garage that looked like it had been a modern addition to the house. The driveway was made of brick, arranged in an elaborate design. There was a porch in front of the door that went across the whole front of the house.  
  
Probably most amazing of all was the garden of roses that snaked around to the side of the house. I couldn't wait to see what the grounds in the back looked like.  
  
The house had only one light on that I could see. It was late but I thought my mother's entire family would be there to greet me.  
  
"Here we are," Gary said. He had already parked the car and come around to open the door for me without me even noticing.  
  
I climbed out of the car and stared up at the house in wonder. I had never seen a mansion as big as this one. It was absolutely monstrous!  
  
The huge wooden double doors were yanked open abruptly and a woman about my height came out. She looked very elegant even at this late hour. She wore casual pinstripe slacks and a sheer black blouse. She was slim with a nice figure. She had the same blond hair as me. Hers was pulled back into a soft looking ponytail. Her cheekbones were very defined and she had a feminine looking jaw line that sloped down into a chin that was a little pointed but not unattractively so. Her eyebrows were perfectly shaped and she wore just a little bit of makeup. Her eyes could be best described as ice blue. They had a hard look to them but when she set eyes on me they softened. She clasped her manicured hands together and smiled showing off her straight white teeth. She was beautiful.  
  
"Lucky?" she asked.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Oh my goodness, it is so great to have you here!" she squealed and ran to me. She held me at arms length for a moment.  
  
"Spitting image," Gary said in passing. He was already carrying my bags into the house.  
  
"You brought a lot of things, didn't Scott tell you I would buy you everything you would possibly need?" she asked.  
  
"Yes, but I just couldn't leave anything behind," I told her. Even though I had five suitcases I still felt as though I was missing so much.  
  
"Please come inside so we can chat," my mother said. I followed her into the front foyer. It was huge with marble floors and a giant chandelier hanging overhead. There was a large staircase directly in front of the double doors. A red carpet descended down and continued all the way to the threshold of the door. I felt like I was in the Queen of England's home.  
  
"This is Phantom Manor," my mother said spreading her arms it seemed to demonstrate the grandeur of the estate. As if I hadn't noticed.  
  
"Gary, will you take Lucky's bags up to the room," she said. Gary nodded and started up the stairs. I stared after him in wonder. I couldn't believe this would be my home. Everything was happening so quickly, I didn't know what to say. I had just met my mother and found out she was filthy rich. The anger came flooding back when I remembered how I had loved back in St. Thomas. How Dad and Jesse were still living. All the while my mother had enough money to support everyone who went to my high school three times over. I looked over at her. She was admiring her house as if it were her first time seeing it, not mine.  
  
I yawned, finally feeling the day's events catching up with me.  
  
"Oh, you must be exhausted," mother said.  
  
"I am but I'd like to talk to you for while," I told her, "I thought my mother was dead,"  
  
"Is that what Scott told you?" she asked.  
  
I didn't say anything. It sounded like she was surprised I hadn't known the truth all these years. Like it was my father's fault I had never known my mother.  
  
"You poor dear. Well as you can see I am very much alive," she smiled again.  
  
Was I just imagining it or had she just given herself a compliment?  
  
"Come, we can speak in the living room," she said turning to walk away. It seemed almost like she was on a mission, not like she was on her way to talk to her daughter for the first time. I followed her into a large room with plush beige carpet. The sofas were leather and very comfortable as I found when I sat down. There was a roaring fire in the marble fireplace. It looked like a scene form a movie.  
  
"I want to know everything about you dear," my mother said.  
  
"First I would like to know the story from your side. I have a million questions," I told her. She looked surprised at my assertion and a little uncomfortable for a moment.  
  
"I want you to know first of all that my husband and daughter don't know who you are," she said speaking quieter now, "they think you are the granddaughter of a family friend,"  
  
I stared at her in shock. My presence was being explained through lies? But why?" Did Maria Porter really want me here or was it just an obligation she felt she needed to fulfill?  
  
"I don't understand," I stuttered.  
  
"As you know, I was only your age when you were born. I was afraid. My parents wouldn't let me live with them if I kept you. So with Gary's help, I fled to London and left you in a Wal-Mart," she explained, "I thought I was doing it for your won good. You have to know I really believed that,"  
  
I looked down at my hands. Disappointment was growing in the pit of my stomach. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.  
  
"I cam back without you and moved back home. Then Scott got the police involved. They found me and I was forced to sign you over to him. My parents know everything. Them and Gary are the only ones who do," she continued. She was determined to finish this story. She kept glancing at the door to make sure no one was listening.  
  
"I met my husband, Randall when I was nineteen. We got married, time passed and Julianna was born. Later when I was about twenty-five my parents told me they had hired a private detective to watch you. Where once, they didn't even want to know you existed, they had to be aware of your every move. My father feared that you would be a terrible child that would somehow bring embarrassment to the family,"  
  
Embarrassment to the family. Did they think I would turn out to b a hooker and tell everyone I was a Porter? Rich people were very paranoid and preoccupied with their reputation.  
  
"We spoke awhile ago and decided it would be best if you came to live here for while. I know my Dad is hopeful that you will be a good businessperson so you can take over his company some day. My mother just wants to keep tabs on you," she finished.  
  
I stared at her, "But why do you want me here?" I asked.  
  
The question obviously caught her off guard, "Well.I.I.you are my daughter and I want to get to know you," she said finally. As long as know one knows that, I though sadly. I never should have come to this place. They only wanted to control my and make sure I did what they wanted.  
  
"I'm very tired," I said.  
  
"Oh, okay, I'll show you your room," she said getting up. She seemed relieved the conversation was over.  
  
She showed me up the stairs. I was too busy thinking to notice the house or my room. I just said goodnight to my mother and fell into bed.  
  
"Oh and one more thing," she said before leaving, "you have to call me Maria," she closed the door with a resounding thud.  
  
This night had only been confirmation that not everything turns out how you want it to. I might as well have been a family friend's daughter the way I had been treated. I realized before I fell asleep that nothing had changed. Not really.  
  
I didn't have a mother before and I didn't have one now. 


	8. Chapter Seven: Meeting the Family

Chapter Seven – Meeting the "Family"  
  
The next day I woke up to a knocking at the door.  
  
"Come in," I groaned.  
  
Maria threw open the door already looking dressed to go to a fancy event.  
  
"Breakfast is in a half an hour, you'll meet my family today," she told me, "We'll be in the dining room," she turned to leave.  
  
"Wait," I stopped her.  
  
She turned around.  
  
"Where is the dining room?" I asked.  
  
"Down the stairs, first door on the right," she said and was gone.  
  
I fell back on the soft pillow and wondered if I had just been in a dream. But the faint smell of Maria's perfume still hung in the air, insisting it was real.  
  
I noticed how huge my room was. It had pale pink walls with oak furniture. There was a dresser with a mirror and chair as a place to do makeup, a desk, two bedside tables and in the corner near the large window were two soft chairs and a table. It looked like a little apartment. It was almost as big as the apartment back in St. Thomas.  
  
The bed I was lying in right then was the same light oak. There was a flimsy pink canopy hanging over the four posters of the king sized bed. The comforter was a white duvet and very puffy. It felt like I was lying on marshmallows.  
  
For a moment I wished my father were here to wake me up a few times but he wasn't so I stood up and realized I had slept in the jeans and sweater I had worn the day before.  
  
I saw that my suitcases were on the floor empty beside the closet doors. Someone must have unpacked for me. I felt a little uncomfortable about a stranger touching all my things.  
  
I walked over to the closet doors and opened them. I gasped in surprise at the size of it. It was bigger than any closet I had ever seen. Not even Lana had a closet this big. In fact, her house was a shack compared to this mansion.  
  
My clothes were hanging in one corner of the closet while the rest of it was empty. The two pairs of shoes I brought were on the shelf underneath my clothes.  
  
I changed my clothes and brushed my hair quickly. I didn't want to be late for my first breakfast with my mother's family. I found my way to the dining room easily enough. I was expecting an elaborately set table with piles of food I had never heard of but that was not what I found. The table was rectangular but not so long that if a person sat at either end you wouldn't be able to talk. It had a beige tablecloth covering it. Eight chairs surrounded the table but only five of them were occupied.  
  
"Lucky!" my mother said standing up, "Please sit,"  
  
I smiled politely and sat in one of the empty chairs.  
  
"This is Lucky Sinclair everyone," Maria said, "Lucky this is my husband Randall," she gestured towards a handsome man with graying black hair and very dark eyes. He had a nice smile and a few wrinkles around his eyes. He was wearing a business suit- and it was Saturday.  
  
"Our daughter Julianna," Maria continued. Julianna had her father's black hair and her mothers ice blue eyes. It was a beautiful combination. She was staring at me intently and I smiled back at her. She didn't return the smile.  
  
"And my parents, Marcus and Nadine Campbell," my grandparents almost looked alike. My grandfather had light gray hair that I assumed used to be the same shade as my mother's and mine. His eyes were blue and I could feel them burning a hole in my face. He couldn't wait to see what was going on in my head. He also wore a business suit. My grandmother was dressed as impeccably as my mother with her light brown hair (which I'm sure had been coloured) pulled up into a bun at the nape of her neck. Her intense brown eyes told me I would have to suffer her wrath if I let the secret about me out.  
  
"Nice to meet you Lucky," Randall said smiling.  
  
"Nice to meet all of you," I said.  
  
At that the servants began bringing out the food. I thought it all looked delicious. There were very thin pancake like things that had whip cream and fruit on them, bacon, eggs, toast. Every type of breakfast food that you could think of, aside from Captain Crunch which is what I was accustomed to having back in St. Thomas.  
  
"These are crepes Lucky, have you ever had them before?" Nadine asked, she was pointing to the thin pancakes. For some reason I felt as though she were testing me.  
  
"No, but they look wonderful," I said taking one.  
  
"So, Lucky, where are you from?" Randall asked.  
  
I glanced at Maria who nodded. She obviously hadn't told him anything about me.  
  
"I'm, uh, from St. Thomas," I told him.  
  
"Small towns," Marcus grumbled shaking his head.  
  
"Oh Daddy just doesn't like small towns because there isn't enough business for companies like his," Maria told me.  
  
"Oh, what kind of business do you own?" I asked.  
  
Marcus looked happy that I showed an interest, which made me think back to the comment Maria had made last night about him wanting me to take over his company.  
  
"It's a computer software developing company," he answered, "very successful," he added.  
  
I nodded.  
  
After breakfast both Marcus and Randall stood, "We're off to the office," Randall said, "no weekend for us,"  
  
They both kissed Maria on the cheek and I noticed ignored Nadine who had a scowl on her face.  
  
"I'm going to the mall," Julianna said standing up.  
  
"Okay dear," Maria said, "Wait, I have a fabulous idea, why don't you take Lucky along?" Julianna's eyes widened.  
  
"No, that's alright," I said.  
  
"Nonsense, I'll give you my credit card and you can get whatever you need," Maria insisted.  
  
Julianna's face brightened a little at the mention of a credit card but she crossed her arms over her small chest defiantly, "Mom, please,"  
  
"You're taking her," Maria ordered.  
  
Julianna rolled her eyes, "Fine, I'm leaving now, Gary's driving," she said.  
  
I got up from the table and picked up my plate to take to the kitchen.  
  
"No, no dear, the servants will take care of that," Maria said.  
  
"That's okay, I'll take it," I said. I followed a servant into the kitchen where I found a man with a chef's hat on.  
  
"Bonjour!" he said. He had a goatee and very dark brown hair.  
  
I smiled at her, "Hello,"  
  
"I am Pierre, you must be Lucy," he said.  
  
"Lucky," I corrected him, "the breakfast was wonderful,"  
  
"Merci!" he said.  
  
I smiled and said, "I have to go, but maybe we'll talk again," I left the kitchen. I wanted to ask Pierre how he had made those delicious crepes. I knew Dad and Jesse would love them. But Julianna would be waiting for me so I thought it'd be better if I asked later. The servants were busy cleaning up the breakfast dishes. I fought the urge to help them and continued out to the front of the house.  
  
Gary was waiting beside the limo. He smiled when he saw me. I smiled back. His was pretty much the only genuine smile I'd seen all morning besides Pierre of course. He opened the door for me and I climbed in. Julianna already had some type of rap music that I didn't particularly like playing.  
  
"What is this?" I asked her, trying to show some interest.  
  
"It's Nelly," she answered, "Do you like rap?"  
  
"It's okay, I prefer rock," I told her. Carter had gotten me hooked on groups like Good Charlotte and Finger Eleven,"  
  
She put on a sour face and tuned herself out to anything else I had to say. I realized on the way to the mall that Carter hadn't come to say goodbye. I didn't know how I felt about that. I guess it meant he didn't want to be friends. It saddened me to think that he wouldn't even hesitate to throw away our friendship just because I only wanted to be friends.  
  
Before I knew it, Gary was opening to the car door and Julianna was climbing out. I got out after her.  
  
"See you later," she said to Gary.  
  
"Thanks for the ride," I told him.  
  
"No need for thanks, a jobs a job," Gary said.  
  
Julianna was already hurrying towards the large front doors. I had to run to catch up.  
  
"We have my mother's credit card," she said not bothering to look at me as she weaved her way thought shoppers. I struggled to keep up and hear the rest of her speech, "We are going to use it right," she said grinning.  
  
I was about to ask what she meant when we came to a group of people crowded around a bench.  
  
"Julianna, hey," a girl said. She noticed me after a second and looked me up and down. She had a smirk on her face, "who's this?" she asked.  
  
"Everyone, this is Lucky Sinclair, she's a friend of the family and is staying with me for awhile," Julianna introduced her friends quickly. I assumed she didn't want to spend much time on me.  
  
"This is Amy O'Reilly, Lauren Wright and Jaime Kirkland," she said.  
  
"Welcome to Ottawa," Lauren said smiling warmly. She was the only one who even spoke to me the whole time we were at the mall.  
  
"Thanks," I smiled back.  
  
"So, what are we looking for today?" Julianna said proudly holding up Maria's credit card, "Anything and everything," she said. They all laughed and headed to the first clothing store on the right.  
  
"Choose what you want and we'll meet at the register," Julianna said. She and her friends rushed through the racks picking up anything they considered decent and hurried to the change rooms.  
  
I glanced around, not really sure what to do.  
  
"Do you need anything?" a deep voice asked from behind. I turned around to find a tall, find of skinny guy with glasses looking at me. He had a straight nose and nice lips. His eyes were a beautiful hazel colour and he had long eyelashes. His hair was dark auburn and curly.  
  
"Um, I don't know yet," I admitted.  
  
He laughed, "Well if you figure it out, come get me," he said, "I'm Adam by the way," he turned back to the change rooms to get Julianna and her friends to calm down. I stared after her a minute before choosing a pair of black jeans and a red blouse. I didn't look at the price. I just wanted to leave the store. I used to love going to the mall with Lana; we had fun together. But my half sister, I could already see, was spoiled. She would max out our mother's credit card today. Something I was sure she'd done before.  
  
"Did you find anything?" Julianna asked. She was holding a stack of clothing. Her friends held more stacks. Lauren caught my eye and smiled apologetically. She was used to carting around Julianna's things.  
  
"Yes," I said holding up the clothes I had chosen.  
  
She eyed the clothes, "Maybe I should just let you have some of this," she said disdainfully.  
  
"I like the blouse, it's cute," Lauren piped up. Julianna gave her a look and she stopped herself from saying anything else. I saw then that my half sister was the leader of this little group. They all did what she said.  
  
She headed to the register. Lauren held back for a moment, "Don't pay attention to her, she can be a little bossy," she whispered so her leader wouldn't hear.  
  
A little?  
  
Adam was behind the counter ready to ring up our purchases.  
  
"Good morning Adam Goody-Good," Julianna said,  
  
"Hello peacocks," he said smirking. He glanced at me ad grinned.  
  
"Ring us up," Jaime piped up, speaking for the first time. It took awhile for him to get everything but when the total came up I gasped in surprise.  
  
"What? Didn't you know that much money existed?" Julianna said. Her friend laughed. She handed over the credit card and waited impatiently, tapping her nails on the counter.  
  
I wondered how Maria would feel about her daughter spending this much money in one store. She had after all given the card to me to get what I needed. I hoped she wouldn't be upset with me for letting Julianna get her hands on it.  
  
"Next store," she said grabbing her bags. She shoved my one bag into my hands and hurried out of the store, friends in tow.  
  
"She forgot this," Adam said holding out he credit card. I smiled, turns out she wasn't as clever as she thought she was.  
  
I took the card and said, "Thank you,"  
  
"Do you go to White Hills?" he asked before I could leave.  
  
"If that is where Julianna goes then yes, I'll be starting on Monday," I told him.  
  
"I guess I'll see you there then," he said smiling.  
  
I smiled back and left the store. I didn't see Julianna or any of her friends anywhere and truthfully I didn't really mind. I had the credit card. I wasn't going to let her drag me around anymore. I was going on my won shopping spree! I couldn't wait to get home and write to Lana.  
  
I went to all the stores that I recognized from home and bought all the clothes I had never been able to afford before. I also got a few school supplies. A couple hours later, weighed down with tones of bags, I went outside to see if Gary was back. He was. He opened the trunk for me and I got into the car, I grabbed a snack from the fridge and waited for Julianna. Finally she crawled into the limo. When she saw me she frowned.  
  
"Why did you leave?" she asked.  
  
"You left me, so I took the credit card, since you seemed to have forgotten it," I told her.  
  
She glared at me, "Just remember, this is my territory, Just because you are staying here for while doesn't mean you belong," she said.  
  
If only she knew how very much I did belong. 


	9. Chapter Eight: So Much I Don't Know

Chapter Eight – So Much I Don't Know  
  
I spent Sunday exploring Phantom Manor. The house was so big that some of the hallways were locked. Most rooms were almost as big as mine, with elaborately carved furniture and embroidered comforters. Everything was impeccably clean. I hadn't seen any maids around so I assumed they didn't live in the house.  
  
I came to a door at the end of a long dark hallway. So far all the other doors in the hall had been locked so I assumed this one would be too. I tried in anyway and to my surprise it opened. I peered inside curiously. Why was this door of all the doors in the hall open? It was so far away from everything else in the house. Who would even want to use it?  
  
There were boxes stacked in all corners of the small room. It was really more like a closet. The boxes weren't marked and they were all sealed except for one near the door. I looked into the box. Inside was what looked like a stack of diaries. I picked one up and opened it:  
  
Dear Diary,  
Everything has been ruined. Marissa revealed my most precious secret. I  
Thought I could trust my own sister but now I know I can only trust myself.  
What will I tell Jordan? HOW will I tell him? And I have to tell him now.  
  
"What are you doing in here?" a voice asked. I dropped the diary back into the box instinctively and whirled around to find my mother.  
  
"I..I was just exploring," I stuttered. She looked nervously around me to the open box.  
  
"You were snooping," she accused. She pushed past me and closed the box roughly, "Don't come in this room again,"  
  
I stared at her. What was she hiding? What had been written in those diaries that she didn't want me to see?  
  
"I came to tell you that my mother wants to see you," she said pushing me back out of the room. She turned around and locked the door. Why was she locking it now if it hadn't been locked before?  
  
"Follow me," she said hurrying down away from the mysterious room. I hesitated and then followed. I told myself to ask about that room. Maybe Randall or Gary knew something about that room.  
  
I let my mind wander to the subject of Nadine Campbell. My Grandmother. Why would she want to talk to me now? She hadn't seemed too interested in me yesterday during breakfast. Why now? I assumed she wanted to tell me to keep my mouth shut about the real reason why I was here. I knew the Campbell's were a prominent family in Ottawa and they wouldn't want a scandal.  
  
Nadine was sitting in the same room I had first spoken to my mother in. She was dressed nicely, as I'm sure she always was. I sat down across form her and waited for the speech to begin.  
  
"How have you enjoyed your first couple days here?" she asked.  
  
"Very much, I've never seen a house this big," I told her.  
  
"Good," she said. She just sat there and stared at me for a moment.  
  
"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" I prompted her.  
  
"Yes," she said blinking, "As you know, your presence here had been explained using a lie. I came here to ensure that you would keep it all secret," she paused for a second to see my reaction. I didn't do or say anything so she continued, "We have a reputation to uphold so you must act like a proper young lady. There is much you can learn from Julianna," she said.  
  
I almost laughed. Were there people so blind that they couldn't see what Julianna was really like?  
  
"You will go to school at White Hills Academy, a very well respected and prestigious private school, come home at night and do your homework. You mat socialize with friends only after they have been approved," she said.  
  
I started to object but she interrupted me, "We can't have you standing out in any way. You must not call attention to yourself,"  
  
"Are you finished?" I asked.  
  
"Yes," she said, "Do you have any questions?"  
  
"No, you have made it perfectly clear that I am a prisoner under your command," I said looking her right in the eyes. My angry tone didn't faze her. Her small mouth just formed a smirk that told me it didn't matter what I said, she'd always be in control.  
  
I got up to leave, "The only thing I don't understand is why I am here at all when I seem to be a burden," I said.  
  
Her smile widened as if she had been waiting for me to ask that very question, "There is so much you don't know, and I intend to keep it that way," was all she said.  
  
I turned and walked away. In my room I sat on the bed and thought about that days events.  
  
First there was the secret room with all the boxes. The diaries belonged to my mother and she had written about a secret being revealed. What was the secret and why had Maria been so nervous about seeing my in that room?  
  
Then there was Nadine telling me all the rules. One thing was for sure, there was a lot I didn't know and despite Nadine's vow to keep it that way, I intended to find out the secret of Phantom Manor and it's occupants.  
  
I didn't sleep very well that night. I had a lot of things on my mind. I missed everyone form home and I wished I could talk to someone about what happened today.  
  
The though of those diaries just sitting in that locked room waiting to be read nagged at my brain relentlessly. For some reason I knew there was something in that room that would change my life. Again.  
  
I also had to start school at White Hills Academy tomorrow. The last time I had started a new school was in grade nine and I had Lana with me then. Now I was starting in the middle of the year and I was all alone.  
  
The only thing that comforted me was the thought of seeing Adam again. He seemed like a really nice guy.  
  
I finally fell asleep hoping the next day would be better than I anticipated.  
  
Gary drove both Julianna and me to school the next day. I was surprised my mother wasn't coming with me. But she said everything was ready so there was no need for her presence. Julianna didn't speak to me; she hadn't since Saturday.  
  
"Good luck," Gary told me when we arrived. I thanked him and turned towards the school. It was beautiful really. Huge brass gates with the school's emblem on them were towering over me. The school itself was made of white brick and it looked as though it had three or more levels. It almost looked like castle with its high towers and I even noticed a bell tower.  
  
Julianna was nowhere in sight so I entered the school on my own. Everyone wore the same black and red uniforms. It made me wonder why Julianna had bought so may clothes.  
  
I was supposed to go the main office to get my schedule and locker assignment. I followed the posted signs that med me to the main office. The secretary was an older woman with dyed red hair and thick glasses.  
  
"Hello dear, how may I help you?" she asked.  
  
"Hi, I'm Lucky Sinclair, I'm new here," I told her.  
  
"Sinclair, Sinclair," she murmured flipping through a stack of papers, "Sinclair, here it is," she handed me a schedule and a locker number. There was a map of the school on the back of the schedule. I was grateful for that because I didn't know how I would have found my way around without it.  
  
I found my locker easily and put my jacket inside.  
  
My first class would be English. It was room 209 on the second floor. I used the map and hurried up to the second floor. I didn't want to be late on my first day.  
  
I ended up being early. There was no one in the room except the teacher.  
  
"Excuse me, hi, I'm Lucky Sinclair, I'm new here," I told the man who looked to be in his early thirties with sandy blond hair and green eyes. He was kind of good looking.  
  
"Oh hi, I'm Mr. McCoy, welcome to White Hills," he smiled showing off dimples in his cheeks. He gave me the books the class was reading and the latest work I would need to complete. He told me to take a seat near the front. I was putting all my books in my bad when I heard a familiar voice, "Good morning Mr. McCoy," I looked up to find Adam, looking very cute in his uniform. His glasses had wide black frames, reminding me of the lead singer of Weezer, who happened to be Carter's favourite band. Why did everything have to remind me of Carter?  
  
"Hello Adam," Mr. McCoy smiled.  
  
When Adam saw me sitting there he grinned.  
  
"And hello to you again," he said sitting down next to me.  
  
"Hey," I said softly.  
  
"I guess we were never properly introduced, Julianna isn't very good at those things," he said, "I'm Adam Goode,"  
  
"Lucky Sinclair," I said.  
  
"So, what were you doing with the wonderful peacocks?" he asked.  
  
"You mean Julianna?" I asked, "I'm staying with the Porters for awhile, I'm a..." I paused, not sure what to say, "A family friend,"  
  
"Really," he said.  
  
"Why do you call them peacocks?" I asked.  
  
"Well, because they like to strut around showing off, just like peacocks," he explained.  
  
"Clever," I said laughing. Now that I thought about it, I realized he was right. They did strut around. Other students started streaming in and sitting down in their seats. Finally the bell rang and Mr. McCoy started the class.  
  
"Everyone, we have a new student, this is Lucky Sinclair," he introduced me. I blushed a little. I didn't like being in the spotlight and had always felt sorry for other new kids being introduced at my old school.  
  
I stood up and smile at everyone. No one smiled back except for Adam. I noticed some girls in the back row whispering and giggling. The kept glancing up at me and then giggling again.  
  
I sat down quickly.  
  
Mr. McCoy started teaching again but the snickering in the back row didn't stop. In fact, it didn't stop al day. In every class I heard someone whispering and laughing. I knew it was about me; I wasn't just being paranoid, because more than once I saw them looking straight at me.  
  
At lunch I found the cafeteria and bough my lunch. I didn't see any empty seats near Julianna, not that I would have sat with her anyway.  
  
I sat at an empty table near the window and started eating my ham sandwich.  
  
"Hey," a voice said. I looked up to find Adam, "Can I sit here?" he asked.  
  
"No, this table is saved for my many friends," I said sarcastically. His smile faded.  
  
Oh, there you go an alienate the one person whose been nice to you all day, I thought.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm just a little bit on edge right now," I apologized, "Of course you can sit here,"  
  
His smile reappeared and he sat across from me. His tray was piled high with every food available in the cafeteria.  
  
"Hungry?" I asked.  
  
He answered by shoving some French fries into his mouth. When he was finished chewing he said, "I guess you haven't made many friends," he glanced down at the empty table.  
  
"No, you are the only person who has ever spoken to me," I admitted.  
  
"I guess that makes me your best friend then doesn't it?" he said grinning through a mouthful of cheeseburger. He inhaled every scrap of food on his tray and I stared at him. I'd never seen anyone eat that fast before.  
  
He saw me staring and laughed, "I didn't eat breakfast," he explained.  
  
"So, I see the Goody Good and the orphan have become chummy," Julianna's voice said nastily. She was standing at the end of our table with her groupies behind her.  
  
"Give it a rest Jules," Adam said rolling his eyes. I could see that he was used to her insults.  
  
"I've heard a lot of things about my house guest," she said ignoring Adam, "I can only pray they aren't true because I wouldn't want a prostitute living anywhere near mw and I'm sure my parents wouldn't either,"  
  
"Prostitute?" I gasped in surprise, "I'm not a hooker so you can stop spreading lies about me," I stood up to face her.  
  
"I'm just glad you aren't a part of my family and I feel sorry for those people who are related to you," she said.  
  
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her the whole truth but I remembered my Grandmother's warning and held back.  
  
I glanced at Lauren, hoping she'd defend me like she had at the mall the other day but her eyes were pointed at the floor.  
  
Julianna had everyone wrapped around her little finger and there was nothing I could do about it. 


	10. Chapter Nine: Remembering Home

Chapter Nine – Remembering Home 

I wrote letters to Lana, Jesse and Dad as often as I could, telling them how everything was going. I tried to keep the unpleasant stuff out of Dad and Jesse's letters. I didn't want them to worry about me anymore than they already did.

But I did tell Lana everything. The threats from my half sister and grandmother, the secret room and diaries and most of all Adam.

He was really the only person who would give me the time of day at school. Everyone avoided me like the plague thanks to Julianna. Nevertheless I did enjoy going to school. I liked all my classes and private school teachers really were better than public school ones.

Mr. McCoy, my English teacher was my favourite. He knew so much about literature and he loved teaching. I talked to him often about authors I enjoyed like Hemmingway and Charles Dickens. He was very passionate about his work.

That was something I liked about Adam too. He was very ambitious and passionate. He told me he was at White Hills on scholarship. His marks were all very high and he wanted to go into business after high school. He said he lived with his mother whom he rarely saw because she was always working. I knew what that was like.

Right away I felt like I could tell him anything. I told him the real truth from the beginning because I trusted him not to spread it around the school. He wasn't like the other snobs here who lived each day to hear the next juicy piece of gossip.

He laughed when I told him that Julianna was my half sister because she had always gone out of her way to tell people how grateful she was not to be related to me.

Adam told me he wanted to help me find out what was in the secret room but I wanted to try to figure it out myself first.

The year was passing by pretty quickly and before I knew it, it was Valentine's Day. The school was beautifully decorated. The school had this thing where you could send a rose secretly so I decided to send one to Adam.

They were delivered first period, the class we had together and one was given to each of us. We looked at each other and laughed. We knew whom they were from.

I saw Julianna walking around with a handful of roses in her arms. She had an arrogant smile on her face. I felt sorry for anyone who liked her.

"Do you want to go to a movie tonight?" Adam asked me at lunch.

"Sure," I said. Maria never asked where I went or with who. It was like she was still determined to act as though I didn't exist. Nadine never followed through on her vow to screen my friends. I guess she was too busy, which was fine with me. Gary was the one who seemed worried about me. He drove Adam and I to the theater. He asked Adam questions likes he was my father. I didn't mind. I missed having someone care about me like that.

Adam held my hand through the whole movie. I was very content just sitting there with him. This felt different that it had with Carter. I like Adam a lot more than in just a friendly way.

When the movie ended, we sat there watching the credits. Finally it was just too much for me to take. I turned to him and kissed him hard on the lips. He kissed me back, putting his hand on my neck. It was wonderful.

He pulled away and smiled, "Wow," he murmured.

"Exactly my thoughts," I whispered.

We continued to see each other everyday after school. My feelings grew stronger and stronger for him. Only a month after our first kiss I felt like I was falling in love with him.

One day I came straight home after school because I was expecting a letter from Lana. It was on the counter by the door waiting to be read. I took it up to my room and ripped it open:

_Hey Lucky!_

_Sounds like you Valentine's Day was a lot better than mine! Don't get me wrong, Nathan's great, still, but I don't know, I guess it's just getting to be too much of a routine. I know your just going to tell me to suck it up and stay with him because I can't dump a guy just because I'm comfortable with him right? I guess I just solved my own problem. _

_So anyway, I miss you so much. I really want to visit and meet this Adam Goode. I'm sure he's totally in love with you, just like Carter still is. He is always calling me to find out about you. That guy has got it bad. You totally broke his heart. And he's so cute too!_

_But, you should write to him, maybe then he'll stop bothering me. _

_Have you found out what's in that mysterious locked room? I'm dying to know. Your letters are like a mystery novel for me!_

_Well I gotta get going. The phone is ringing. If that is Carter..._

_FRIENDS FORVER!!_

Lana 

Carter was still in love with me? What did I have to do to get him to get over me? I told him I only wanted to be friends and then I moved six hours away, what else could I do? Maybe Lana was right. I should write to him. Let him know that I've moved on and so should he.

Despite myself, I did miss his friendship. We had been so close.

There was one thing that Lana had mentioned in her letter than I hadn't made any progress on and that was the secret room. I had been so preoccupied with Adam lately that I hadn't even thought about it. But now it was on my mind again and it was going to be hard to forget it.

I knew that neither Maria nor Julianna was home, but it was Friday so Randall was. I had barely spoken to him since I moved here. He was always working. Now was the perfect opportunity to talk to him about my mother, his wife.

I found his office and knocked loudly on the thick pine door.

"Come in," he called. I opened the door and approached his desk. He didn't look up until I sat down on the brown leather chair across from him.

"Oh hello, Lucky," he said. He looked surprised to see me.

"Hello Mr. Porter," I said smiling.

"Please call me Randall," he said smiling back, "What can I do for you?"

"Well I just came to chat, I haven't spoken to you much in the last few months and I wanted to thank you for letting me home," I said. I pained me a little to lie to him because he seemed like such a mice man. I noticed over the last few months that Maria was always bossing him around and walking all over him. He obviously wasn't very strong willed but he still didn't deserve to be anyone's doormat.

"Oh, it's our pleasure," he said.

I wondered if Maria had even told him I was coming before I arrived.

"You have a beautiful home," I said.

"Why thank you, my great grandfather built it you know," he was quite proud of his house, that was apparent.

"I've heard it's haunted," I said just to see his reaction.

"Gary told you that I presume," he said raising his eyebrows.

I nodded.

"My older family members have claimed to see things but I just think its their minds playing tricks on them along with the racket the old pipes make," he assured me.

"How long have you and Maria been together?" I asked him, changing the subject abruptly.

He hesitated and gave me a strange look before answering, "Almost seventeen years," he told me.

"How did you meet?" I asked.

"Our parents introduced us and it was love at first sight," he said smiling softly as if remembering. I wondered if Maria felt the same way. After all she'd had me less than a year before meeting Randall. That meant there was another guy before she knew Randall. Of course I didn't know if she had loved my real father but I hoped she had.

"So it was almost arranged," I said mostly to myself.

"No, it was just a meeting," he said. I hadn't thought he heard what I said but I guess he did. I saw a littlie doubt in his eyes. So it might have been arranged.

But why? Was it just a coincidence they had met so soon after Maria had left me in St. Thomas or were Nadine and Marcus trying to focus my mother's attention on something or someone other than my real father?

I didn't think there was much else I could learn from Randall since he himself was denying that his meeting with Maria was arranged to become something as serious as marriage. The only people that could really tell me about that were my Grandparents. I was about to ask Gary to take my on a little drive to their house when Randall found me again.

"You have a phone call," he said, "You can take it in the living room,"

I assumed it would be Adam. He was pretty much the only person who ever called me.

"Hello?" I said.

"Lucky," a voice said softly. It sounded weak and defeated but familiar.

"Jesse?" I asked, "What's wrong?" my heart was pounding against my chest. I sat down on the couch.

"An accident...on his way home," he stuttered, "Dad was killed,"


	11. Chapter Ten: Future Uncertain

Chapter Ten – Future Uncertain 

The words hit me like a ton of bricks.

"What? What are you talking about? He can't be dead," I said the tears gathering in my eyes.

"It's true, he's gone," Jesse insisted, his voice cracking.

The tears spilled over my lids like the Hoover Dam had just been torn down.

"No!" I yelled into the phone.

"Lucky, please calm down," Jesse told me loudly.

"This can't be happening Jesse, how could this have happened," I asked hysterically.

I had never felt this kind of pain in my entire life. My heart was breaking. How could this be true? How could it be true that I would never see my father again?

Jesse told me the funeral would be in two days in St. Thomas. I told him I'd be there as so as possible and hung up.

I sat on the couch for awhile longer sobbing uncontrollably. I put my head in my hands but all I could picture was my Dad's face. I could see him smiling when I made him breakfast and the way he always did everything for me. I saw the twinkle in his eye as he woke me up for the third time in the morning. I would never see that again. Even the thought of it was absolutely unbearable.

"What is wrong with you?" a voice asked. I looked up quickly, wiping my eyes. My mother was standing there holding a handful of shopping bags.

"My father, Scott, he is dead," I told her.

"Oh no," she breathed. She put her bags down gently and came over to me, "I assume you want to go to the funeral,"

"Of course," I said, "It's in two days,"

"I'll arrange for Gary to take you," she said and left. No hug. No comforting. It made me want to cry even more when I realized how alone I was here. My mother had barely spoken to me. Didn't she care that the man who had taken care of her eldest daughter for seventeen years of her life was dead?

I hurried up to my room, not wanting to run into Julianna. She was even less compassionate then our mother.

I sat on my bed and just stared into space for I don't know how long. It was as if time had come to a halt for me and all I knew was the pain. I thought about my father and how much I loved him. I hoped he knew that.

I packed a duffel bag of clothing and went downstairs to see if we could get going. I thought for a minute about calling Adam but decided against it. I just wanted to get to St. Thomas right away.

"We can get going now," Gary told me. He took me bags for me and I followed him to the car. No one came to say goodbye or tell me they were sorry for my loss. I wondered if Maria would even tell anyone the truth about where I was going, it might mess up her plan.

Gary touched my arm lightly before I got into the car," I'm so sorry," he said softly. He looked very concerned and it made me feel a little better to know that someone cared.

"Hey Gary, would you mind if I sat up front with you?" I asked him, "I don't want to be alone right now,"

"Certainly you can sit up front," he said, "Anything for you," he added softly.

I fell asleep on the way to St. Thomas. It was a long drive and it hurt too much to stay awake. When I opened my eyes again, it was very dark and we were outside my old building.

"Will you be returning to Ottawa," I asked Gary on the elevator.

"I will do what you want to do," he said smiling gently.

"It would be really helpful if you came to the funeral," I told him. I needed all the support I could get right now and Gary was almost like a grandfather to me.

Jesse answered the door looking tired and worn. I threw my arms around his neck and began to sob again. He rubbed my back soothingly and pulled me inside the apartment. It looked the same as it had before I left. I half expected it to look totally different.

I introduced Gary to Jesse and we decided Gary would sleep on the couch. It made me feel safer to know he was there.

I went to my room, totally exhausted despite my nap in the car. My room felt comfortable and familiar, so much different than my suite in Phantom Manor. There was a knock at the door just as I was crawling under the covers.

"Come in," I called.

Jesse opened the door and came to the edge of my bed. He sat down and took my hand, not saying anything. I could see tears glistening in his eyes.

"What am I going to do?" he asked, "I'm all alone now,"

"No you aren't," you still have me," I told him firmly. I was determined not to cry again, to be strong.

"You live so far away," he said quietly. I had never seen my brother like this. He rarely, if ever cried in front of anyone.

Then I got a brilliant idea, "You can move to Ottawa!" I told him.

"What?" he asked, looking up at me.

"You have lots of money saved up, right? And there's Dad's life insurance, you can move out to Ottawa and go to college," I said. I hoped he'd say yes. I couldn't bare the thought of leaving him here all alone.

"I don't even know why I'm even worried about this now," Jesse said avoiding the question, "Dad will be buried in two days,"

"I know," I said, "It's going to be terrible Jesse." I decided to let Jesse think about moving. It didn't matter right now.

He didn't say anything. We both knew it would be one of the hardest things we would ever have to do.

Jesse went to his bedroom after that and I fell asleep immediately.

The next morning I woke up slowly. My room was still dark and when I looked at the clock I saw it was ten in the morning. I got up quickly, hoping Jesse hadn't gone anywhere without me.

I found Jesse and Gary sitting at the kitchen table talking. I was glad they were getting along so well. I sat down in my usual seat.

"Good morning," Gary said.

I smiled half-heartedly.

"We've got everything pretty much organized. We just have to make some calls," Jesse told me.

I nodded.

Jesse continued to talk about the wake; we would have a few people over to the apartment after the funeral, but I only half listened. Sitting at the table was bringing back memories. But right now I just didn't want to remember. It hurt too much.

"I'm going to visit Lana today," I said.

"Do you need a ride?" Gary asked.

"That would be great," I told him gratefully.

I went to my room and got dressed. I was about to leave when I noticed a purple envelope on my dresser. I picked it up and opened it. Inside was a picture of Carter and I. I was smiling at the camera. Carter was looking at me with a soft smile on his face. I turned the picture over and found a note.

_Dear Lucky,_

_This picture really captured my feelings for you. Nothing will ever change how much I love you._

_Always Yours,_

_Carter_

I reread the note and felt a pang of guilt in my stomach for hurting him. I did love him, just not in the way he wanted. I decided then that I would visit him today. I wanted him to know that I wanted to be friends. I wasn't trying to push him out of my life.

"Will you be okay by yourself?" I asked Jesse before leaving.

He nodded, "Kristen's coming over," he said.

I had forgotten all about Kristen. They'd been together for while now. I wondered it she was the reason he had hesitated in agreeing to more to Ottawa. I felt insensitive for forgetting about her. I made a mental not to ask about her later.

Gary took me to Lana's and I told him I'd call when I was ready to go.

"Lucky!" Lana squealed when she opened the door. She threw her arms around my neck. When she pulled back and looked at me concern in her eyes, "How are you?" she asked.

"You heard?" I asked. We sat in the living room of her house.

She nodded, "I'm so sorry, it's terrible, he was too good a person to die so young," she said sadly. She had always liked my father.

I managed to keep the tears from spilling out. We talked for hours about everything. She told me she was still happily with Nathan and she asked about Adam. I told her how O thought I was falling in love with him. She had a grim look on her face when I said that.

"Just pray he doesn't hurt you like you've hurt Carter," she said.

I stared at her in surprise. She sounded bitter

"Look Lucky, I was being nice before, the truth is, you ripped Carter's heart out of his chest. He has been suffering ever since you left," she said bluntly. The guilt overwhelmed me again.

"What should I have done?" I asked defensively.

"You shouldn't have led him on for so long. You should have been nicer about the truth. You have totally ignored him since you left. The guy is a mess," she said.

I looked down at my hands. I had always known somehow that I was way to hard on him. He didn't deserve what I did to him. No one did. Lana was making me realize now that I had acted selfishly.

"Thank you for telling me this," I said standing to go, "I'm going to visit him now,"

At the door Lana grabbed my arm. I turned to face her.

"Sometimes the truth is hard to face. I'm sorry if I was too direct," she said.

"No it's fine, it's good, thank you," I said distractedly. Gary was waiting in the limo and I told him to take my to Carter's address.

I didn't know what I was going to say but I knew I had to say something. Carter deserved an apology if nothing else.

His house looked the same as it always had. I knocked on the front door and Carter answered it after a minute. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw me. Then widened even more when he saw the limo. Then he looked back at me and his eyes hardened.

"Has royalty lowered herself to my level?" he said. Despite his cold tone I knew that of what Lana said was true he still cared about me so I tried my best to ignore it.

"I've missed you," I said.

"Have you now?" he said.

I shivered in the cold breeze and I saw something in Carter's eyes that told me he really did care.

"Come inside," he said softly. We sat in the living room together. Every time I had been over before we had gone to the basement.

"How's the basement?" I asked.

"I don't go down there much anymore," he admitted.

"Why not?" I asked.

"It reminds me too much of you," he said, his beautiful blue eyes gazing right into mine.

"Well Carter, that's the thing, I don't think it's good for you to be thinking about me all the time," I said carefully. I didn't want to alienate him even more than I already had.

"I can't just forget someone like you," he insisted. He came over to me and sat down, taking my hand.

"You don't have to, we can be friends, just like before," I told him.

"Don't you get it Lucky?" he asked softly, "I can't control my feelings. I'll always love you,"

I looked at his hand, intertwined with mine. How was I supposed to do this? How could I break his heart again?

"I'm sorry, but even though you haven't moved on, I have. I have a boyfriend in Ottawa that I am falling in love with. I'm happy." I told him. I thought it'd be best to let the truth out now so he wouldn't continue getting his hopes up.

He looked disappointed for a minute but hid it quickly, "Who is he?" he asked.

"His name is Adam, he is a really great guy," I assured him.

Carter nodded and let go of my hand, "I'm glad you are happy," he said.

I told him that I would really like him to come to my father's funeral since I could use all the support I could get.

"I'll do anything for you," was all he said.

I had to leave after that. It was getting late and Jesse would wonder what I was doing.

When I got home I found Jesse in his room packing his things.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm moving out to Ottawa," he said smiling.

I laughed as he picked me up and twirled me around. I couldn't wait for him to be a part of my life again. Maybe our future wasn't so uncertain after all.


	12. Chapter Eleven: No More Lies

Chapter Eleven – No More Lies

The funeral was as nice as could be expected. It wasn't very big. Some of Dad's colleagues came and his friends showed up to. Jess called his parents but they never got back to us.

Kristen came and so did Lana along with her parents and Nathan. Even Carter showed up. He sat next to me and held my hand the whole time, which really helped. Gary sat on the other side of meant comforted me when I cried.

The wake back at the apartment was even smaller, only close friends came and they didn't stay long. They sensed, or saw, that Jesses needed to move out of the apartment. He had boxes and boxes of things. I still thought it was early to leave St. Thomas but it would be good for everyone if we went on with our lives. Dad wouldn't have wanted to mourn his death. He would want us to remember his life.

Kristen looked very sad when she was leaving the wake.

"Goodbye, Lucky, again I'm so sorry," she told me.

"Thank you," I said. I wondered if she and Jesse were planning on having a long distance relationship and I asked her.

"He didn't tell you?" she asked.

I shook my head in confusion.

"He broke up with me," she said sadly.

I was surprised Jesse would break up with her just like that. Maybe he truly wanted to start a new life in Ottawa with no memories of St. Thomas.

After everyone left and I promised Carter I would write to him, Jesse and Gary packed the things he needed in the limo. He would send for the rest later.

Jesse fell asleep in the limo. He was exhausted after the day we had.

I dialed the number of Phantom Manor on the car phone and waited.

Maria picked up after three rings. She always let it ring at least three times. She didn't want people to think she had been waiting by the phone with nothing better to do.

"Hi," I said.

"Who is this? "she asked.

I felt a pang of hurt in my stomach. We had lived together for almost four months and she still didn't know my voice.

"Lucky, I'm on my way home," I said.

"Oh, right," she said.

"I'm bringing my brother with me," I announced.

"What? You can't do that! How will I explain it?" she asked frantically.

"He only has to stay a few days, until he finds an apartment," I assured her.

"What will I tell everyone?" she asked, her voice getting higher and higher with every word.

"Say he's a friend of mine and the rest is the truth," I told her. It really wasn't going to be that big a deal. Randall wouldn't notice him there and chances were, neither would Julianna.

"This is ludicrous!" she exclaimed.

I told her it would only be for a couple days and hung up before she could continue to object.

Jesse woke up as we were pulling into the driveway of Phantom Manor. He gazed up at it in awe just like I had.

"Wow," he breathed.

The entire house was dark when we walked in the front door but Maria appeared seemingly out of nowhere and motioned for us to be quiet. We followed her into the den and she turned on a small lamp that gave off very little light.

"You must be the infamous Maria," Jesse said smiling.

She only glared at him and told us to be quiet, "I don't want Randall or Julianna to hear us," she explained even thought that fact was apparent.

"I have to fill you in on the new details," she said,

"What new details?" I asked.

She stared at me like I had three heads, "I had to think up a whole new explanation for Scott and now your step-brother," she said.

"He's my full brother," I corrected her. I didn't want to think of Jesse as my stepbrother. He was more than that to me.

"Whatever," Maria said shaking her head, "I told Randall and Jules that your went to visit a sick friend and that Jesse here is another of your friends form home."

I listened carefully to the new pack of lies.

"I said he was going to stay here for a few days until he got settled," she finished.

I sighed. I hated lying for one more second. The pressure was becoming unbearable. I always felt like I would let something slip out at any moment that could tear down the fragile structure of lies that Maria had built around me.

"Fine," I said.

Maria showed Jesse to a guest room and then hurried away.

"Well, she seems nice," Jesse said falling onto the bed.

"She's wonderful," I said sarcastically. We said goodnight and I went to my room. I fell asleep almost immediately out of exhaustion.

The next day was Monday but I stayed home form school to help Jesse get settled. I found a bunch of massages from Adam on the table in the kitchen.

I hadn't really thought about him all weekend. I hadn't even called him to tell him where I was going. He was probably so worried. I knew he'd be at school but I called his house anyway. I left a message on the machine and planned to call again later.

The house was totally empty except for the servants when Jesse and I had breakfast. I asked Pierre to make crepes. Jesse loved them just like I knew he would. I wished briefly that I had the chance to make them for Dad.

Jesse saw the sad look on my face and said, "I miss Dad too,"

I smiled softly and left the house. We were going to find an apartment for him so we wouldn't have to inconvenience Maria too much longer.

It didn't take long for us to find the perfect place for him. It was in a developing part of Ottawa near the outskirts of the city. It was in the second floor, had one bedroom and a balcony. We were lucky to have found it so easily. It made me feel like everything really was meant to be and it would be okay.

A couple of days later Jesse was fortunate to have found a job as a groundskeeper and he planned to move into his apartment in a week. Everything was working out perfectly.

Neither Julianna nor Randall had met Jesse yet when I got home from school on Friday.

"How come you never told me your cute friend was coming to live here?" Julianna's loud voice ask.

"Jesse?' I asked.

She rolled her eyes, "Obviously,"

"Why would I tell you? We never speak to each other and you good reason," I said.

"So?"

"Look _Jules_, stay away from Jesse, he's not your type," I told her. I didn't want her to ruin Jesse's happiness. She didn't deserve a guy like Jesse.

"Don't even try to tell me what to do," she growled, "I will have Jesse and you can't stop me," she marched out of the room.

I sighed and hoped Jesse would be smart enough to see what she was really like. I felt confident he'd see through any of her masquerades.

Over the last few days I had become more and more restless. I felt like the lies were piling too high. I didn't need the pressure anymore. I was graduating this year and already had too much to think about. I was seriously thinking about telling Randall the truth about me.

I had already spoken to Adam about it and he agreed. He didn't think I should have to lie any longer either. My mother had to face her past sometime, now as good a time as any as far as I was concerned.

I saw my mother hurry past the living room doorway and I got up and went after her.

"Maria!" I called. She turned around with an irritated look on her face.

"What?' she sighed.

"I need to speak to you," I said.

"Fine, make it quick, I'm busy," she told me. Crossing her arms over her chest. I sighed. This was the way it was always like when I wanted to speak with her. She always had something better to do.

"I don't want to lie anymore, I think it would be a good time to tell your family the truth about me," I told her.

"No, that's not an option," she said.

"Why not?" I asked incredulously, "Were you planning on keeping it a secret forever?"

"As long as possible, yes," she admitted.

"Well I can't go on like this," I told her. I hoped that she cared about me somewhere deep in her heart, that she wanted me to be happy.

"Listen Lucky, you came here to my home and turned my life upside down, so don't try to call the shots around here," she snapped.

Anger and disappointment boiled in my stomach. My mother was making it painfully obvious that she didn't want me here. I was her mistake, the one she wanted to forget.

"Either you tell them or I will," I hissed at her and walked away.

I hadn't planned on giving her an ultimatum but apparently I had no choice. I had to do something for myself now, I couldn't cater to my selfish mother anymore.

I had too many other things to think about without having to worry about the lies too.

One important thing coming up was college. I knew I wanted to go to culinary school. I had enjoyed watching Pierre make complicated dishes for the past few months and would really enjoy doing that for a living. I knew Marcus was hoping I'd work at his computer software company but computers really weren't my thing. I didn't want to disappoint anyone but I had to follow my heart to be happy and that was what I was going to do.

I had already applied to the school I wanted to attend. I hadn't spoken to anyone about it and I knew I was being presumptuous by assuming Maria's family would pay for it, nut if they didn't then I would. I wasn't going to let this family control my life. Her parents had controlled Maria's life and I refused to let that happen to me.

I ended up falling asleep only to awake to the sound of slamming doors and someone yelling. I got up quickly and opened my door. Julianna came storming past. She paused a minute to glare at me before continuing to her room.

"Julianna!" Maria's voice called. She came down the hall and stopped when she saw me. There were tears in her blue eyes.

"I told the," she said,

I didn't say anything.

"And all thanks to you, they hate me," she rushed away from me and I turned and shut my door quickly.

It was a small relief to know there were no more lies but by the sound of it, there would only be more anger and hostility in the house.

If only I knew just how much.


	13. Chapter Twelve: Get Over It

Chapter Twelve – Get Over It 

I noticed over the next few days that Randall and Maria were never together. I used to see them once in awhile sitting together or going for a walk, but now Maria went for walks by herself.

I felt a little bit guilty but I refused to blame myself for this. My mother had dug her own hole.

Julianna avoided me now more than ever.

I spent most of my time with Jesse and Adam. They had met and seemed to get along well. Jesse was a little preoccupied with his own life right now though. He was getting settled in his new job and in his apartment. He was applying to some school for the fall semester. He was going to take some art classes over the summer just to get back into the school thing.

My English teacher, Mr. McCoy, tried everyday to persuade me to take some literature courses at college but I wanted to go to culinary school. He even went as far as to say I was too smart to be a chef.

"But that is what I want to be," I insisted one day before class.

"You could be a fabulous writer," he told me.

"I can write and cook at the same time," I told him.

I was interested in fictional writing but I didn't want that as a career. It was more a hobby for me.

"I don't want you to waste your talent," he said.

"I won't," I assured him.

As the end of the year approached, so did prom and graduation. I had looked forward to this since I ever knew what it was. Adam and I planned to go together of course. I wished I could have more free time just to daydream about the prom but the atmosphere around Phantom Manor was too tense. Every time I passed my mother she would stiffen up and keep walking.

Instead of getting closer with the truth, we were growing further apart. Finally I couldn't take the stony silence anymore and I grabbed her arm as she passed me.

She pulled away from my grip quickly and turned to face me.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I demanded.

"Why? Hmm, let me think, maybe because you ruined my life," she hissed. At that moment I didn't know who was more immature, Maria or Julianna.

"I didn't do anything. You were the one who made all the decisions. I only came back to remind you of your mistakes," I shot back.

"My husband doesn't even sleep in our room thanks to you," she said. I couldn't believe how she was acting. Would she ever take responsibility for her own actions?

"It isn't my fault you lied to him for years," I pointed out, "You'll never stop lying. You are lying still, to me,"

"About what?" she asked in disbelief.

"About that secret room and your past," I said, "I still don't know who my father is,"

She became quiet at that. She seemed to be thinking about something. I thought she was about to blurt something out but she sighed loudly instead.

"I don't need this anymore. You are my daughter and I will do only what I have to," she walked away, leaving me staring after her.

I expected to be hurt by what she said but I finally didn't care anymore. I would never get anything but resentment from her. It would never change. I had to accept that.

There was one thing I could do though.

I found Randall in his office as usual. I knocked on the door and went to sit down when he told me to come in.

He smiled tightly. I could sense a little resentment there too, but he was too considerate to let it show.

"So, you are my step-daughter," he said.

I nodded feeling a little uncomfortable. What did I really think I could do?

"I guess so," I said smiling weakly.

He glanced around in discomfort and then looked back at me.

"Maria only lied to protect me," I told him. It was a total lie. My mother could care less about me.

"How did lying to me protect _you_?" he asked frowning.

"She thought it would be easier for me to make a new start that way," I told him. My argument was obviously weak but for some reason I felt obligated to try. I could tell by the look on Randall's face that he wanted a reason to forgive his wife. He hated being mad at her, so he's pretty much buy anything.

"Thank you for telling me this," he said thoughtfully.

As I left the room I realized I had made myself look like the bad guy in this whole mess. Maybe somewhere deep inside me I still wanted Maria to accept and love me. After all, she was my mother. The mother I'd always been praying for.

Later I asked Gary to take me over to Jesse's place. While he was getting the car, Julianna seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Where are you off to?" she asked politely.

"To see my brother," I said.

"He's not really your brother, is he?" she said smiling.

"He'll always be my brother," I told her firmly.

"I've always wanted an older sister you know," she said, ignoring me.

"I bet you have," I said, only half listening.

"Sisters should look out for each other, help each other," she said coming closer, "I'd like to visit Jesse too, since he is my sister's good friend."

I was too tired to object so I said, "Fine," What could one visit hurt? Jesse was smart enough to see Julianna for who she really was. He didn't need me to protect him.

Gary drove us to Jesse's building and we made our way to his apartment.

"Hey," he said when he opened the door. He glanced over at Julianna but there was no change in his expression. Relieved, I moved past him into the living room. He had the furniture form the old apartment arranged nicely.

"Nice to see you again Jesse," Julianna said sweetly. I rolled my eyes at her attempt at being nice.

"You too," he said, "Do you want a drink?"

"I'd love one," she gushed.

"Okay," Jesses said slowly. He obviously noticed she was trying too hard also.

We spent the rest of our time there watching TV and talking. Julianna continued to be sickeningly sweet. She clung to Jesse's arm until he had to pull it from her grip to go to the bathroom.

Finally Julianna went down to the limo to wait for me.

"Someone had a crush," I teased him.

"Shut up," he said smiling.

I pretended to look offended but couldn't keep a straight face. I actually found Julianna's pathetic attempt at flirting humorous. She had always had guys come to her because of her looks. So she didn't really know how to flirt.

"She's so clingy," Jesse said wrinkling his nose.

I laughed; I knew there was no way Jesse and Julianna would ever be together. But sometimes the unexpected happened, I knew that also. I would still have to keep any eye on my half sister. A close eye.


End file.
